Some people think that government funding should not be used for supporting Art & culture, while others think that supporting cultural activities may be beneficial for the population and the culture. Discuss both views and give your own openion.

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Many
people
Use synonyms
think
art
Use synonyms
should not
fund
Wrong verb form
be funded
show examples
by the government,
while
Linking Words
some believe supporting culture is highly important for the nation and the population. In my opinion, I believe that
although
Linking Words
art
Use synonyms
has some benefits for the community and
it
Correct pronoun usage
apply
show examples
is one of the core of the country's development,
overall
Linking Words
funding
art
Use synonyms
means less money for more crucial issues like health or transportation. One key benefit is that
art
Use synonyms
is educational.
Art
Use synonyms
improves children's ability to express themselves,
while
Linking Words
it
also
Linking Words
increases their imagination and creativity.
Art
Use synonyms
enables
people
Use synonyms
to interact with their environment, to be more sensitive to what is happening around them, to think freely and to express themselves freely. The most effective way to reach beauty is
art
Use synonyms
.
Thus
Linking Words
,
art
Use synonyms
beautifies life and adds value to
people
Use synonyms
and their environment. That's why encouraging
Art
Use synonyms
with expenses,
bring
Correct subject-verb agreement
brings
show examples
these values and
this
Linking Words
improves the quality of
people
Use synonyms
's lives.
Conversely
Linking Words
, some insist that there are many vital fields to funding
instead
Linking Words
of
Art
Use synonyms
. If the national budget
spends
Wrong verb form
is spent
show examples
on
Art
Use synonyms
, it can lead to chaos especially in developing countries as their needs are mostly about medicine, food and energy sources.
For instance
Linking Words
, Iranian
people
Use synonyms
made
Verb problem
apply
show examples
a
Correct article usage
apply
show examples
protest
Replace the word
protested
show examples
for a week after their major paid a fortune for a painting for the purpose of putting it in a public museum in 2016. I
also
Linking Words
think that the countries that have employment problems should use their budget for opening factories or developing hospitals inquiries would be more functional for the community. In conclusion,
while
Linking Words
art
Use synonyms
is educational and has positive effects on the community, funding it by the government is not necessary. In my opinion, these funds should
use
Wrong verb form
be used
show examples
for better purposes.
Submitted by drsoguzhan on

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task response
Ensure that all points directly relate to the topic question. Address both views thoroughly and provide a clear opinion on the matter.
coherence cohesion
The introduction and conclusion are clear and relevant. Work on creating a more coherent and cohesive structure between paragraphs to improve the overall flow of ideas.

Support ideas with relevant, specific examples

Examples make your writing easier to understand by illustrating points more effectively.

Examples, if used properly, not only help you get higher marks for ‘Task Response’ but also for ‘Coherence’.

When giving examples it is best to put them after your main idea or topic sentence. They can be used in the middle of supporting sentences or they can be used to start a new sentence. There is no rule for where exactly to give examples in essays, logically they would come after your main idea/topic sentence or just after a supporting sentence.

Linking words for giving examples:

  • for example
  • for instance
  • to illustrate this
  • to give a clear example
  • such as
  • namely
  • to illustrate
  • take, for example

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