Some people think that government funding should not be used for supporting Art & culture, while others think that supporting cultural activities may be beneficial for the population and the culture. Discuss both views and give your own openion.

Many
people
think
art
should not
fund
Wrong verb form
be funded
show examples
by the government,
while
some believe supporting culture is highly important for the nation and the population. In my opinion, I believe that
although
art
has some benefits for the community and
it
Correct pronoun usage
apply
show examples
is one of the core of the country's development,
overall
funding
art
means less money for more crucial issues like health or transportation. One key benefit is that
art
is educational.
Art
improves children's ability to express themselves,
while
it
also
increases their imagination and creativity.
Art
enables
people
to interact with their environment, to be more sensitive to what is happening around them, to think freely and to express themselves freely. The most effective way to reach beauty is
art
.
Thus
,
art
beautifies life and adds value to
people
and their environment. That's why encouraging
Art
with expenses,
bring
Correct subject-verb agreement
brings
show examples
these values and
this
improves the quality of
people
's lives.
Conversely
, some insist that there are many vital fields to funding
instead
of
Art
. If the national budget
spends
Wrong verb form
is spent
show examples
on
Art
, it can lead to chaos especially in developing countries as their needs are mostly about medicine, food and energy sources.
For instance
, Iranian
people
made
Verb problem
apply
show examples
a
Correct article usage
apply
show examples
protest
Replace the word
protested
show examples
for a week after their major paid a fortune for a painting for the purpose of putting it in a public museum in 2016. I
also
think that the countries that have employment problems should use their budget for opening factories or developing hospitals inquiries would be more functional for the community. In conclusion,
while
art
is educational and has positive effects on the community, funding it by the government is not necessary. In my opinion, these funds should
use
Wrong verb form
be used
show examples
for better purposes.
Submitted by drsoguzhan on

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task response
Ensure that all points directly relate to the topic question. Address both views thoroughly and provide a clear opinion on the matter.
coherence cohesion
The introduction and conclusion are clear and relevant. Work on creating a more coherent and cohesive structure between paragraphs to improve the overall flow of ideas.

Support ideas with relevant, specific examples

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