Some people think that government funding should not be used for supporting Art & culture, while others think that supporting cultural activities may be beneficial for the population and the culture. Discuss both views and give your own openion.

#people #government #art #culture #activities #population #openion

Many

people

think

art

should not

fund

Wrong verb form

be funded

show examples

by the government,

while

some believe supporting culture is highly important for the nation and the population. In my opinion, I believe that

although

art

has some benefits for the community and

Correct pronoun usage

apply

show examples

is one of the core of the country's development,

overall

funding

art

means less money for more crucial issues like health or transportation. One key benefit is that

art

is educational.

Art

improves children's ability to express themselves,

while

also

increases their imagination and creativity.

Art

enables

people

to interact with their environment, to be more sensitive to what is happening around them, to think freely and to express themselves freely. The most effective way to reach beauty is

art

Thus

art

beautifies life and adds value to

people

and their environment. That's why encouraging

Art

with expenses,

bring

Correct subject-verb agreement

brings

show examples

these values and

this

improves the quality of

people

's lives.

Conversely

, some insist that there are many vital fields to funding

instead

Art

. If the national budget

spends

Wrong verb form

is spent

show examples

Art

, it can lead to chaos especially in developing countries as their needs are mostly about medicine, food and energy sources.

For instance

, Iranian

people

made

Verb problem

apply

show examples

Correct article usage

apply

show examples

protest

Replace the word

protested

show examples

for a week after their major paid a fortune for a painting for the purpose of putting it in a public museum in 2016. I

also

think that the countries that have employment problems should use their budget for opening factories or developing hospitals inquiries would be more functional for the community. In conclusion,

while

art

is educational and has positive effects on the community, funding it by the government is not necessary. In my opinion, these funds should

use

Wrong verb form

be used

show examples

for better purposes.

Submitted by drsoguzhan on Thu Oct 06 2022

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task response

Ensure that all points directly relate to the topic question. Address both views thoroughly and provide a clear opinion on the matter.

coherence cohesion

The introduction and conclusion are clear and relevant. Work on creating a more coherent and cohesive structure between paragraphs to improve the overall flow of ideas.

Support ideas with relevant, specific examples

Examples make your writing easier to understand by illustrating points more effectively.

Examples, if used properly, not only help you get higher marks for ‘Task Response’ but also for ‘Coherence’.

When giving examples it is best to put them after your main idea or topic sentence. They can be used in the middle of supporting sentences or they can be used to start a new sentence. There is no rule for where exactly to give examples in essays, logically they would come after your main idea/topic sentence or just after a supporting sentence.

Linking words for giving examples:

for example
for instance
to illustrate this
to give a clear example
such as
namely
to illustrate
take, for example

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9Linking words
meeting the goal of 7 or more
2Word repetition
meeting the goal of 3 or fewer
8Grammar mistakes
 

4 paragraphs

281 words

0123456789.0505

Overall Band Score

Coherence and Cohesion: 5.0

Logical structure

Introduction & conclusion present

Supported main points

Accurate linking words

Variety in linking words

Lexical resource: 4.0

Varied vocabulary

Accurate spelling & word formation

Grammatical Range: 4.0

Mix of complex & simple sentences

Clear and correct grammar

Task Achievement: 4.0

Complete response

Clear & comprehensive ideas

Relevant & specific examples

Appropriate word count

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Some people think that government funding should not be used for supporting Art & culture, while others think that supporting cultural activities may be beneficial for the population and the culture. Discuss both views and give your own openion.

Support ideas with relevant, specific examples

Some people think that people in senior positions alone should make decisions in a business, while others think that employees should be involved in the decision-making process too. Discuss both views and give your own opinion.

Some people prefer to carefully plan activities in their free time others think it’s a waste of time. Discuss both views and give your answer?

Some people argue that space exploration has had more to do with national pride than international effort. To what extent do you agree with this? How do you think space exploration will change in the future?