Some people say that parents should encourage their children to take part in organized group activities in their free time. others say that it is important for children to learn how to occupy themselves on their own. Discuss both the views and give your opinion.

#people #parents #children #part #group #activities #time

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this

Linking Words

contemporary epoch, It is proclaimed by some people that

children

Use synonyms

should opt

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group

Change preposition

for group

show examples

activities

Use synonyms

in their leisure time whereas others have differing

views

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that

instead

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of, juveniles should understand to keep themselves busy solitary. Both

the

Correct article usage

apply

show examples

views

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holds

Change the verb form

hold

show examples

their own significance,

this

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essay would discuss both

the

Correct article usage

apply

show examples

views

Use synonyms

and deliver my opinion in a nutshell. To commence with, why

group

Use synonyms

activities

Use synonyms

are advisable to teenagers

Unnecessary verb

apply

show examples

because they would able to explore themselves with varieties of ideas. To explain, any kind of

group

Use synonyms

activities

Fix the agreement mistake

activity

show examples

involves a bunch of people with different

views

Use synonyms

, ideas and nature which eventually help them to expand their boundaries and think beyond the conventional domain.

Thus

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, if

children

Use synonyms

inculcate

group

Use synonyms

activities

Use synonyms

in their pastime

then

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it would benefit them in future endeavours.

For example

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children

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who choose

group

Use synonyms

activities

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are more confident and can able to present themselves out of the crowd, as proved in

the

Correct article usage

show examples

recent survey.

Hence

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above

Correct article usage

the above

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paragraph vividly illustrates the merits of inculcating

group

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activities

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children

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's pastime activity.

On the contrary

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, keeping themselves busy on their own and

choose

Wrong verb form

choosing

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what activity they should involve in their free time would be a daunting task for

children

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however

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definitely enhance their decision power. To elaborate, at that age,

children

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do not have

understanding

Add an article

an understanding

show examples

of opting right thing for themselves so

that

Correct word choice

apply

show examples

learning to choose is a skill which we all learn while growing up.

Thus

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, if

children

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motivated

Add a missing verb

are motivated

show examples

to choose on their own

then

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they would develop the habit of selecting suitable

thing

Fix the agreement mistake

things

show examples

for themselves

although

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making mistakes is a part of learning and crucial for overall development.

Hence

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Correct article usage

the

show examples

above points explains the opposing view of the discussion. To recapitulate, motivating

children

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to participate in

group

Use synonyms

activities

Use synonyms

come

Fix the infinitive

to come

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across new ideas and

able

Add a missing verb

be able

show examples

to implement

Correct pronoun usage

them in

show examples

their life easily, on the other side, doing all the things on

own

Correct pronoun usage

their own

show examples

would be difficult

Change preposition

show examples

the

Correct article usage

apply

show examples

teenage

however

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makes them more stronger and confident. In my opinion,

group

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activities

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are more beneficial as

children

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can get ample advantages and

able

Add a missing verb

are able

show examples

to grasp

easily

Correct pronoun usage

them easily

show examples

Submitted by bhattumang1 on Fri Oct 07 2022

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Support ideas with relevant, specific examples

Examples make your writing easier to understand by illustrating points more effectively.

Examples, if used properly, not only help you get higher marks for ‘Task Response’ but also for ‘Coherence’.

When giving examples it is best to put them after your main idea or topic sentence. They can be used in the middle of supporting sentences or they can be used to start a new sentence. There is no rule for where exactly to give examples in essays, logically they would come after your main idea/topic sentence or just after a supporting sentence.

Linking words for giving examples:

for example
for instance
to illustrate this
to give a clear example
such as
namely
to illustrate
take, for example

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9
Linking words
meeting the goal of 7 or more
4
Word repetition
meeting the goal of 3 or fewer
22
Grammar mistakes
detected issues

0123456789.0505

Overall Band Score

Coherence and Cohesion: 4.0

Logical structure

Introduction & conclusion present

Supported main points

Accurate linking words

Variety in linking words

Lexical resource: 4.0

Varied vocabulary

Accurate spelling & word formation

Grammatical Range: 4.0

Mix of complex & simple sentences

Clear and correct grammar

Task Achievement: 6.0

Complete response

7.5

Clear & comprehensive ideas

Relevant & specific examples

Appropriate word count

4 paragraphs

340 words

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Topic Vocabulary:

encourage
occupied
organized
group activities
benefits
social
teamwork skills
interpersonal skills
friendship
discipline
time management
interests
hobbies
independent play
creativity
problem-solving skills
self-reliance
explore
discover

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Some people say that parents should encourage their children to take part in organized group activities in their free time. others say that it is important for children to learn how to occupy themselves on their own. Discuss both the views and give your opinion.

Support ideas with relevant, specific examples

Obesity is becoming a major problem in many parts of the world, especially in rich countries. What are the reasons and solutions?

The tourism industry has grown enormously over the last fifty years, and there are few places which are unaffected by it. However, tourism rarely benefits the countries which tourists visit. To what extent do you agree or disagree?

More and more people are moving from rural areas to live in cities. What problems can this cause? How can these problems be solved? Give reasons for your answers and include any relevant examples from your own knowledge or experience. Write at least 250 words.

Some people think that parents should teach their children how to be good members of society. Others, however, believe that school is the best place to learn this. Discuss both views and give your own opinion.