Nowadays technology is influencing modern art in areas such as design, painting and film. Do you think this is a positive or negative development?
Present days technology is influencing modern
art
in areas like design, painting and film. I believe thatUse synonyms
,
it is a negative development.
The main reason is, more employment Remove the comma
apply
people
. Use synonyms
In other words
, when individuals did not value Linking Words
Use synonyms
art
and Fix the agreement mistake
arts
craft
items so nowadays less population choose those Fix the agreement mistake
crafts
filed
, and a person who is already in those sectors does not have any work and Correct your spelling
fields
facing funds
related problems because of Wrong verb form
faces
this
, more Linking Words
individual
go to other filed and giving everyone's jobs are not be possible by government. Fix the agreement mistake
individuals
For example
, today humans are more attracted to technology items and want to buy cheap things. Linking Words
Hence
, Linking Words
art
is less popular.
The second negative effect is, the nation's losing great Use synonyms
art
-skilled workers. To explain it, without Use synonyms
money
nobody Add a comma
money,
survive
in Wrong verb form
survived
this
era Linking Words
show
Verb problem
apply
people
chose other works and education plans for their future so if a person is a good artist a country and other Use synonyms
people
never knew that and not a single person left to represent their motherland in international level Use synonyms
art
competition festival. Use synonyms
For instance
, Indian Linking Words
people
now days not make handmade products which Use synonyms
are
very famous in the past time and there are many fort temples that are not compelled without artwork but nowadays every building Wrong verb form
were
use
machine Equipment. Change the verb form
uses
Thus
, the state lost great talent.
In conclusion, because of technology Linking Words
people
are less interested Use synonyms
to buy
high price decoration items and prefer to complete their homework by machine and individuals change their jobs and study for the future. Which is not a Change preposition
in buying
not
sign for the country.Rephrase
apply
sangeetapoonia11
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task achievement
Clarify the points you are trying to make in your essay to make them easier for readers to understand. For instance, your main reason is somewhat vague, and expressing it more clearly would strengthen your argument.
coherence and cohesion
Ensure that your essay has a clear logical flow. Use transition words and phrases to connect your ideas more smoothly, which will help improve coherence throughout the essay.
task achievement
Elaborate a bit more on your examples to provide clearer context and relevance. For instance, explain why handmade products were valued in the past and how their decline affects cultural identity.
task achievement
You have a clear opinion stated in your introduction, which sets the tone for the essay. This helps in understanding your perspective on the topic.
task achievement
Your use of examples related to the decline of hand-made products in India adds a personal touch and supports your overall argument.
Use cohesive linking words accurately and appropriately
Linking words are very important in your essay.
To score effectively on your IELTS exam, you should make an effort to implement short concise sentences coupled with linking words.
Almost every sentence in your essay should have a linking word of some sort.
In fact, the only sentences that can omit linking words are your background sentence and thesis.
Linking word examples:
- firstly
- secondly
- thirdly
- in additional
- moreover
- also
- for example
- for instance
- therefore
- however
- although
- even though
- despite