Nowadays technology is influencing modern art in areas such as design, painting and film. Do you think this is a positive or negative development?

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Present days technology is influencing modern
art
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in areas like design, painting and film. I believe that
,
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apply
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it is a negative development. The main reason is, more employment
people
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.
In other words
Linking Words
, when individuals did not value
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art
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arts
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and
craft
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crafts
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items so nowadays less population choose those
filed
Correct your spelling
fields
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, and a person who is already in those sectors does not have any work and
facing funds
Wrong verb form
faces
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related problems because of
this
Linking Words
, more
individual
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individuals
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go to other filed and giving everyone's jobs are not be possible by government.
For example
Linking Words
, today humans are more attracted to technology items and want to buy cheap things.
Hence
Linking Words
,
art
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is less popular. The second negative effect is, the nation's losing great
art
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-skilled workers. To explain it, without
money
Add a comma
money,
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nobody
survive
Wrong verb form
survived
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in
this
Linking Words
era
show
Verb problem
apply
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people
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chose other works and education plans for their future so if a person is a good artist a country and other
people
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never knew that and not a single person left to represent their motherland in international level
art
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competition festival.
For instance
Linking Words
, Indian
people
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now days not make handmade products which
are
Wrong verb form
were
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very famous in the past time and there are many fort temples that are not compelled without artwork but nowadays every building
use
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uses
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machine Equipment.
Thus
Linking Words
, the state lost great talent. In conclusion, because of technology
people
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are less interested
to buy
Change preposition
in buying
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high price decoration items and prefer to complete their homework by machine and individuals change their jobs and study for the future. Which is not a
not
Rephrase
apply
show examples
sign for the country.

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task achievement
Clarify the points you are trying to make in your essay to make them easier for readers to understand. For instance, your main reason is somewhat vague, and expressing it more clearly would strengthen your argument.
coherence and cohesion
Ensure that your essay has a clear logical flow. Use transition words and phrases to connect your ideas more smoothly, which will help improve coherence throughout the essay.
task achievement
Elaborate a bit more on your examples to provide clearer context and relevance. For instance, explain why handmade products were valued in the past and how their decline affects cultural identity.
task achievement
You have a clear opinion stated in your introduction, which sets the tone for the essay. This helps in understanding your perspective on the topic.
task achievement
Your use of examples related to the decline of hand-made products in India adds a personal touch and supports your overall argument.

Use cohesive linking words accurately and appropriately

Linking words are very important in your essay.

To score effectively on your IELTS exam, you should make an effort to implement short concise sentences coupled with linking words.

Almost every sentence in your essay should have a linking word of some sort.

In fact, the only sentences that can omit linking words are your background sentence and thesis.

Linking word examples:

  • firstly
  • secondly
  • thirdly
  • in additional
  • moreover
  • also
  • for example
  • for instance
  • therefore
  • however
  • although
  • even though
  • despite

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Topic Vocabulary:
  • democratized
  • integration
  • virtual reality
  • interactive installations
  • intricate
  • craftsmanship
  • fusion
  • novelty
  • immersive
  • engagement
  • personalized experiences
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