Some people believe that sleeping is the only method which allows people to get enough relaxation. Others believe that physical activities such as playing games and exercises also provide enough relaxation. Discuss both views and provide your opinion.

It is an undeniable fact that sleeping is the most effective way to relax.

Although

Linking Words

a section of the community thinks completely opposite

Change preposition

show examples

this

Linking Words

notion

Punctuation problem

notion,

show examples

as they believe that sports are the foremost way to get relaxation, I opine that involvement in physical activities can be more helpful than sleeping. On the one hand,

according to

Linking Words

the masses, sleeping would be beneficial for health in a number of ways.

Firstly

Linking Words

, working full-time makes people tired

Punctuation problem

;

show examples

therefore

Linking Words

, they want some free time to recharge their bodies, and sleeping well can only assist them because people who do some physical work related to labour

job

Fix the agreement mistake

jobs

show examples

. Take an example, construction jobs usually involve a lot of

bodywork

Check wording

manual labour

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As a result

Linking Words

, they do not feel any more energy for playing games and taking part in sports.

On the other hand

Linking Words

, I am in

the

Correct article usage

apply

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favour of those who think that taking part in sports and physical exercises can be more fruitful than sleep. White-collar jobs

Punctuation problem

, like

show examples

someone who do office

jobs

Punctuation problem

jobs,

show examples

need to do some physical activities

along with

Linking Words

games

which

Punctuation problem

, which

show examples

are the only options they have.

Hence

Linking Words

, they prefer to join the sport to remain fit

and

Punctuation problem

, and

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they can live a healthy life

Linking Words

Punctuation problem

, as

show examples

well as experts in the sport

also

Linking Words

assist them in exercises which mainly focus on relaxation without any burden or muscle pain. In conclusion,

while

Linking Words

several people assure that sleeping cannot be replaced with physical activities and which is a fact, I believe that games are

also

Linking Words

as pivotal as having rest to keep the body healthy and active.

inderatwal1996

Oct 9, 2022

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Development

Add clear, equal points for both sides with more full examples.

Coherence

Make links between ideas clear with simple words like and, but, also, however.

Grammar

Check grammar and use short, clear sentences to avoid mistakes.

Structure

Shows both sides and ends with your own view.

Content

Some clear ideas about rest and sport.

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12
Linking words
meeting the goal of 7 or more
0
Word repetition
meeting the goal of 3 or fewer
11
Grammar mistakes
detected issues

0123456789.0505

Overall Band Score

Coherence and Cohesion: 5.0

Logical structure

Introduction & conclusion present

Supported main points

Accurate linking words

Variety in linking words

Lexical resource: 4.0

Varied vocabulary

Accurate spelling & word formation

Grammatical Range: 4.0

Mix of complex & simple sentences

Clear and correct grammar

Task Achievement: 4.0

Complete response

Clear & comprehensive ideas

Relevant & specific examples

Appropriate word count

4 paragraphs

261 words

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In a number of countries, some people think it is necessary to spend lage sums of money on constructing new railway lines for very fast trains between cities. Others believe the money should be spent on improving existing public transport. Discuss both these views and giver your own opinion

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Many believe that modern technology has brought people together, but others say that it has driven us apart. Discuss both viewpoints and give your own opinion. Give reasons for your answer and include any relevant examples from your own knowledge and experience.

People believe that Generation Z (1997-2007) are more dishonest than previous generations. What is the reason for this? Is this a positive or a negative development?