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Some people say that music is a good way of bringing people of different cultures and ages together. To what extent do you agree or disagree with this opinion?

#people #music #cultures #ages
In
today
Change noun form
today's
show examples
world
, it can be deniable that
music
 is
one
 of the vital part
people's
Change preposition
of people's
show examples
 life since it generates both entertainment and relaxation. Some
people
 claim that
songs
 pull
people
 regardless of their cultures or ages together, the critics argue that
music
 is only used for entertainment purposes. In my humble opinion, I believe that
music
 is
one
 of the best means to connect society around the
world
 together.
To begin
 with, everyone in the
world
 can access
to
Change preposition
apply
show examples
music
 regardless of their personal background. Whether they live in Asia, Africa or Europe,
songs
 are universally available and
people
 can choose which
one
 they want to listen base on their preferences,
This
 leads to a global community that joins together to share some opinions and news. To illustrate, On Facebook, there is plenty of
music
 groups in which created for users who have the same interest in each type of
music
such
 as pop, rock, jazz etc. All
people
 in the
world
 can join and give information or introduce their own country’s
music
.
In addition
, listening to
music
 has no limit access on ages, from seniors to children, they all could enjoy
songs
. In fact,
music
 is a crucial way to reduce generation gaps while enhancing relationships between family and friends as
songs
 create delightful moments. Not only
a
Correct article usage
apply
show examples
happiness part but talking about
songs
 is
also
 considered
being
Unnecessary verb
apply
show examples
the best way to start a conversation and make a deep connection.
For instance
, recently I newly joined a team in
the
Correct article usage
a
show examples
 new company, and at the very
beginning
Add a comma
,beginning
show examples
 I was a bit struggle to adapt to older colleagues.
Then
 I heard
one
 senior employee sitting
next
 to me using BTS, a group of Korean artists, as a ringtone.
Thus
, I actively approached them and shared that I’m
also
 their fan. We had a great conversation resulting in a closer relationship. In summation, I utterly concur that there are considerable advantages of
music
, globally drawing
people
 together and building connections between different ages. It is an indispensable part of
people
's lives.
Submitted by pnpinnn on

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    • Sentence 1 - Background statement
    • Sentence 2 - Detailed background statement
    • Sentence 3 - Thesis
    • Sentence 4 - Outline sentence
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    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 3 - Second supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 4 - Conclusion
    • Sentence 1 - Summary
    • Sentence 2 - Restatement of thesis
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Essentional vocabulary list for IELTS Writing 7+

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Topic Vocabulary:
  • universal language
  • evoke
  • connect
  • diverse audiences
  • cultural exchange
  • generational gaps
  • shared experiences
  • unifying force
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