IELTS Writing Correction Service /
Writing Samples /
Band 4

Should wealthy nations required to share their wealth among poorer nations by providing such things as food and educations? Or is it the responsibility of the governments of poorer nations to look after their citizens themselves?

#nations #wealth #food #educations #responsibility #governments #citizens
Countries with
the
Correct article usage
apply
show examples
high income
Add a hyphen
high-income
show examples
 resources should come forward to help the ones in need.
However
Add a comma
,However
show examples
 you cannot ignore the consequences it can bring. So, in
this
essay
Add a comma
,essay
show examples
 I will try to highlight both
the
Correct article usage
apply
show examples
sides of
this
 statement.
Firstly
, despite the fact that
resident
Fix the agreement mistake
residents
show examples
 of the region
are
Change the verb form
is
show examples
 rich or poor they are still human. We cannot think of, look at, or hear of
the
Correct article usage
apply
show examples
people in need without sympathy and compassion.
For example
,
in
Change preposition
apply
show examples
the recent deadly flood in Pakistan got the attention of the whole world and they came forward to show their solidary with the ones grieving.
Secondly
, developed nations are growing extremely fast and the
Correct your spelling
underdeveloped
show examples
under developed
Correct your spelling
underdeveloped
show examples
 are still in the same phase so the distribution of wealth is uneven. So sharing wealth can be a useful way to prevent people from bad future.
Thirdly
, there is
saying
Correct article usage
a saying
show examples
 in economics “mixing the apple juice with the lime” by giving them financial ads those nations would not try to develop themselves and continue to rely on the foreign incoming,
on the other hand
, by helping the poor countries the developed can dominate them and can interfere in their governance matters and will try to influence their political decisions
Add the comma(s)
, for example,
show examples
for example
 every time IMF gives loan to any under-developed country it is always based on their particular conditions. I will conclude
this
 by saying, sharing
the
Correct article usage
apply
show examples
wealth have both
the
Correct article usage
apply
show examples
bad and good side so we should try to practice the better side and avoid the dark side.
Submitted by ammaramaqsood60 on

Unauthorized use and/or duplication of this material without express and written permission from this site’s author and/or owner is strictly prohibited. Excerpts and links may be used, provided that full and clear credit is given to Writing9 with appropriate and specific direction to the original content.

Fully explain your ideas

To get an excellent score in the IELTS Task 2 writing section, one of the easiest and most effective tips is structuring your writing in the most solid format. A great argument essay structure may be divided to four paragraphs, in which comprises of four sentences (excluding the conclusion paragraph, which comprises of three sentences).

For we to consider an essay structure a great one, it should be looking like this:

  • Paragraph 1 - Introduction
    • Sentence 1 - Background statement
    • Sentence 2 - Detailed background statement
    • Sentence 3 - Thesis
    • Sentence 4 - Outline sentence
  • Paragraph 2 - First supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 3 - Second supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 4 - Conclusion
    • Sentence 1 - Summary
    • Sentence 2 - Restatement of thesis
    • Sentence 3 - Prediction or recommendation

Our recommended essay structure above comprises of fifteen (15) sentences, which will make your essay approximately 250 to 275 words.

Discover more tips in The Ultimate Guide to Get a Target Band Score of 7+ »— a book that's free for 🚀 Premium users.

What to do next:
Look at other essays: