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Writing Samples
Band 6.5

Nowadays, many families move overseas for job opportunities ( Advantages & Disadvantages both views and give your opinions)

#families #move #job #opportunities
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The world is changing rapidly. Today,
people
Use synonyms
 have many challenges because there
are
Change the verb form
is
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 high demand
of
Change preposition
for
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 modern facilities in their lifetime. The chances to
work
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at
Change preposition
apply
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abroad are more than they have ever been in history. Some
people
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 bring their
families
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 to
oversea
Use synonyms
 countries while they are working.
Although
Linking Words
, some
people
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work
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 alone in another
country
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 and leave their
families
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at
Change preposition
in
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 homeland. I will explain both merits as well as demerits in
this
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 essay.
Firstly
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, there are many benefits
for
Change preposition
to
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 working
oversea
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.
For example
Linking Words
, there are many
people
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 working outside of our
country
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. Some
people
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 have
been
Unnecessary verb
apply
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worked
many
Change preposition
for many
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 years in
oversea
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 countries and they stay together with their
families
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. The partners can
work
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also
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 and kids have
the
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apply
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free education in some countries.
As a result
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, The workers have
reasonable
Add an article
a reasonable
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 income and
Add a missing verb
are able
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able
Replace the word
ability
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 to support their
families
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 and friends in
home
Correct pronoun usage
their home
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country
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. If
,
Remove the comma
apply
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people
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 have
better
Add an article
a better
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salary
Fix the agreement mistake
salaries
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 in
Use synonyms
oversea
Add an article
the oversea
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country
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, they would
stayed
Change the verb form
stay
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 with modern facilities in
different
Add an article
a different
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environment
Fix the agreement mistake
environments
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.
Additionally
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, they can get
the
Correct article usage
apply
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plenty of
work
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experiences
Fix the agreement mistake
experience
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 due to many changes
of
Change preposition
in
show examples
 job availabilities
in
Change preposition
apply
show examples
oversea
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. In
this
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 case, it is positive effects
for
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on
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people
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 who
work
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in
Change preposition
apply
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abroad.
Secondly
Linking Words
, some
people
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 like to
work
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 alone in
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oversea
Correct article usage
an oversea
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country
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 because they like to save
the
Correct article usage
apply
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money as much as they can.
For instance
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, some
people
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work
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 from morning to night
with
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apply
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seven days per week without
day
Add an article
a day
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 off. As a consequence, they don’t have
the
Correct article usage
a
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 life balance between
work
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 and society.
Besides
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, they will be got
the
Correct article usage
apply
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home sick
Correct your spelling
homesick
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.
Finally
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,
people
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 have a lot of money but they don’t have time to spend it with
families
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 or friends. To sum up, there are both advantages and disadvantages
in
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to
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 any choice
at
Change preposition
on
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this
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 issue. In my
opinions
Fix the agreement mistake
opinion
show examples
,
people
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 should decide according to their situation.
Submitted by kokozay on

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