IELTS Writing Correction Service /
Writing Samples /
Band 4

Fewer students are studying science at school and university, favouring more computer based subjects instead. Is this a positive or negative development? What are the reasons for this?

#students #science #school #university #computer #subjects #development
Nowadays young modern learners are inclined to choose educational programs where they can use their
electronical
Correct your spelling
electronic
 devices rather the traditional subjects. Whether
the
Correct article usage
apply
show examples
modern technology-based programs of studies should replace traditional
curriculum
Fix the agreement mistake
curricula
show examples
 is a constant question. Personally, I think that
computer
-based education has an excellent
future
.
Moreover
, studying
technologies
Fix the agreement mistake
technology
show examples
 is an essential part of modern life which gives student million of opportunities for their
future
 careers. At the outset, the traditional way of learning is fundamental, but the majority of modern companies demand their workers to have good
computer
 skills even
at
Change preposition
in
show examples
 junior positions.
Furthermore
,
such
 technological giants as Google and Apple require specific and detailed knowledge
in
Change preposition
of
show examples
computer
 science.
As a result
, youngsters are aware that programming skills
likewise
 general knowledge are essential and significant investments in their
future
 successful careers.
In addition
,
such
 famous names as Bill Gates and Steve Jobs motivate youth to pay more attention to
computer
 science at schools and universities. In a marked contrast we can see that if
student
Fix the agreement mistake
students
show examples
don’t
Change the verb form
doesn’t
show examples
 pay attention to
such
 traditional subjects as math or literature, it might make them imbalanced.
For instance
, if you don’t have
basic
Add an article
a basic
show examples
 background in math you can’t progress in
computer
 science. In conclusion,
technology
Add an article
the technology
show examples
 requires
Add an article
a business
the business
show examples
business
Fix the agreement mistake
businesses
show examples
 to use more technologies in their daily operations.
Thus
, students have to pay more attention to
subjects
Correct article usage
the subjects
show examples
 that studying to succeed in their
future
career
Fix the agreement mistake
careers
show examples
.
Submitted by riveraeka55 on

Unauthorized use and/or duplication of this material without express and written permission from this site’s author and/or owner is strictly prohibited. Excerpts and links may be used, provided that full and clear credit is given to Writing9 with appropriate and specific direction to the original content.

Fully explain your ideas

To get an excellent score in the IELTS Task 2 writing section, one of the easiest and most effective tips is structuring your writing in the most solid format. A great argument essay structure may be divided to four paragraphs, in which comprises of four sentences (excluding the conclusion paragraph, which comprises of three sentences).

For we to consider an essay structure a great one, it should be looking like this:

  • Paragraph 1 - Introduction
    • Sentence 1 - Background statement
    • Sentence 2 - Detailed background statement
    • Sentence 3 - Thesis
    • Sentence 4 - Outline sentence
  • Paragraph 2 - First supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 3 - Second supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 4 - Conclusion
    • Sentence 1 - Summary
    • Sentence 2 - Restatement of thesis
    • Sentence 3 - Prediction or recommendation

Our recommended essay structure above comprises of fifteen (15) sentences, which will make your essay approximately 250 to 275 words.

Discover more tips in The Ultimate Guide to Get a Target Band Score of 7+ »— a book that's free for 🚀 Premium users.

Ultimate Speaking practice for IELTS

Practice speaking step by step, answer real-life questions, and build your confidence. Start your free trial and improve your speaking skills today!
What to do next:
Look at other essays:

Essentional vocabulary list for IELTS Writing 7+

Learn how to write high-scoring essays with powerful words.
Download Free PDF and start improving you writing skills today!