IELTS Writing Correction Service /
Writing Samples /
Band 4.5

Sales companies often try to recruit people who are motivated by money, as they believe that it will make them work harder. do you believe people are motivated to work hard by money and what other factors should be considered when searching for new sales staff?

#sales #companies #people #money #work #factors #staff
As we know, money is very important in life. community need to earn a salary but at the same time, they need to be motivated by their companies. Associations should pay workers rewards for their efforts. Especially sales staff are working so hard.That's why they should earn more capital than the others.
However
,
this
 makes focuses on wages that just care about bills.
On the other hand
, they can feel burn-out due to hard work.
Consequently
,
this
 situation is reflecting their job. According to me, companies should not motivate their employers just with checks. Because sometimes the population need different stuff from cash
such
 as insurance and health care. These things are important but we must accept that property is essential.
As a result
, companies have to balance bills between other important things. The most important thing is to distinguish the crowd who are just interested in funds or other things.
Thus
, they can observe the people.
Submitted by ozanakbulutweb on

Unauthorized use and/or duplication of this material without express and written permission from this site’s author and/or owner is strictly prohibited. Excerpts and links may be used, provided that full and clear credit is given to Writing9 with appropriate and specific direction to the original content.

Fully explain your ideas

To get an excellent score in the IELTS Task 2 writing section, one of the easiest and most effective tips is structuring your writing in the most solid format. A great argument essay structure may be divided to four paragraphs, in which comprises of four sentences (excluding the conclusion paragraph, which comprises of three sentences).

For we to consider an essay structure a great one, it should be looking like this:

  • Paragraph 1 - Introduction
    • Sentence 1 - Background statement
    • Sentence 2 - Detailed background statement
    • Sentence 3 - Thesis
    • Sentence 4 - Outline sentence
  • Paragraph 2 - First supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 3 - Second supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 4 - Conclusion
    • Sentence 1 - Summary
    • Sentence 2 - Restatement of thesis
    • Sentence 3 - Prediction or recommendation

Our recommended essay structure above comprises of fifteen (15) sentences, which will make your essay approximately 250 to 275 words.

Discover more tips in The Ultimate Guide to Get a Target Band Score of 7+ »— a book that's free for 🚀 Premium users.

What to do next:
Look at other essays: