IELTS Writing Correction Service /
Writing Samples /
Band 3

The money spent by governments on space programs would be better spent on vital public services such as schools and hospitals. To what extent do you agree or disagree?

#money #governments #space #programs #services #schools #hospitals
Generally, people believe that strengthening the public sector is necessary rather than funding
space
 missions. I strongly disagree with it, because the government has to think long term for the betterment of people.
This
 essay depicts the positives of
space
 programs.
To begin
 with, due to global warming pollution is increasing day by day, the sustainability of the present generation is not possible if not finding natural habitat in
space
,
however
, the government only have limited money for researching and implementing the idea,
secondly
, the growth of the nation is only possible by launching
satellite
Add an article
a satellite
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 in the
space
. All the developed countries have already started
space
 tourism.
For example
, America
,
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apply
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 recently found life
in
Change preposition
on
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moon
Add an article
the moon
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. On the behalf of
this
Add a comma
,this
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 they started real estate
in
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on
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 the moon, surprisingly individuals are buying lands
in
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on
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 the moon, by believing life
in
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on
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 earth is not safe.
Furthermore
, setting the
Correct your spelling
benchmark
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bench mark
Correct your spelling
benchmark
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 higher helps
the
Correct article usage
apply
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individuals to dream big. For an instance, India launched
Vikrant
Correct article usage
the Vikrant
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 engine
to
Change preposition
into
show examples
the
Correct article usage
apply
show examples
space
 in the year 2015, it is successful in the 1st attempt itself,
Correct word choice
and
show examples
this
 eventually attracted lot many youngsters to the scientific team. To sum up, it is necessary for the government to spend more money and time
into
Change preposition
on
show examples
space
 research because
,
Remove the comma
apply
show examples
 it helps the people and their upcoming generation to live free
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To get an excellent score in the IELTS Task 2 writing section, one of the easiest and most effective tips is structuring your writing in the most solid format. A great argument essay structure may be divided to four paragraphs, in which comprises of four sentences (excluding the conclusion paragraph, which comprises of three sentences).

For we to consider an essay structure a great one, it should be looking like this:

  • Paragraph 1 - Introduction
    • Sentence 1 - Background statement
    • Sentence 2 - Detailed background statement
    • Sentence 3 - Thesis
    • Sentence 4 - Outline sentence
  • Paragraph 2 - First supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 3 - Second supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 4 - Conclusion
    • Sentence 1 - Summary
    • Sentence 2 - Restatement of thesis
    • Sentence 3 - Prediction or recommendation

Our recommended essay structure above comprises of fifteen (15) sentences, which will make your essay approximately 250 to 275 words.

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