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Band 4.5

It is sometimes said that a high salary is the most important factor in choosing a job. Do you agree?

#salary #factor #job
nowadays,
oftenly
Correct your spelling
often
people
 said that
handsome
Correct article usage
a handsome
show examples
 payout is the
Correct your spelling
necessary
neccessary
Correct your spelling
necessary
 thing
while
Correct word choice
when
show examples
 choosing
job
Add an article
a job
show examples
. I m strongly agreed with
this
 statement. In
This
Add a comma
,This
show examples
 you should give your opinion valid factor
on
Change preposition
apply
show examples
opinion and give contrast as well. In my perspective, There
are
Change the verb form
is
show examples
 serval
reason
Fix the agreement mistake
reasons
show examples
of
Change preposition
for
show examples
 giving more value to the
salaries
 rather than
company
Correct article usage
the company
show examples
 or
job
.
firstly
, due the inflation
people
 have to give
perferance
Correct your spelling
preference
 to
salary
 .
In other words
,
This
 is
base
Correct article usage
the base
show examples
 need of
the
Correct article usage
apply
show examples
people
 to get
the
Correct article usage
a
show examples
 good
salary
 while
job
Correct article usage
a job
show examples
.
For instance
, In England according to
the
Correct article usage
apply
show examples
people
 give value to the
salary
such
Correct quantifier usage
apply
show examples
as my family
friends
Fix the agreement mistake
friend
show examples
 was doing
job
Correct article usage
a job
show examples
 in
Add an article
a multi
show examples
multi national
Correct your spelling
multinational
show examples
company
 but when he got a good offer from
average
Add an article
the average
an average
show examples
company
 so he decide to go there for
job
Add an article
the job
a job
show examples
.
In addition
, I would to like outline one more major factor of choosing
handsome
Correct article usage
a handsome
show examples
salaries
job
such
 as
people
wanted
Add the particle
towanted
show examples
 choose
the
Correct article usage
apply
show examples
good
salaries
 because they wanted to live
their
Replace the word
there
show examples
 in luxury style.
for example
, In Pakistan love to choose handsome
salaries
they
Correct word choice
because they
show examples
 wanted to upgrade their
lifestyle's
Change noun form
lifestyles
show examples
on the other hand
, some
people
also
Correct your spelling
disagree
disgree
Correct your spelling
disagree
 with
statement
Add an article
the statement
a statement
show examples
 and
also
 argue that
salary
 does
matters
Wrong verb form
matter
show examples
while
Correct word choice
when
show examples
 selecting the
jobs
Fix the agreement mistake
job
show examples
. because
people
 think that while selecting jobs is most important
is
Unnecessary verb
apply
show examples
company
 matters and package
that
Correct word choice
apply
show examples
what they are giving to workers facility. to
Illustrates
Wrong verb form
illustrate
show examples
, in
India
Add a comma
,India
show examples
 some
company
Fix the agreement mistake
companies
show examples
 give less
pay out
Correct your spelling
payout
show examples
 but give more
facility
Fix the agreement mistake
facilities
show examples
such
 as
house
Fix the agreement mistake
houses
show examples
 and cars as well. to sum up, Sometimes
people
 said that high
salaries
more
Add a missing verb
are more
show examples
 consider
while
Correct word choice
when
show examples
choose
Change the verb form
choosing
show examples
 jobs.
Im
Correct your spelling
I'm
I
 agreed with
idea
Add an article
the idea
show examples
 of
people
 due to inflation and
people
wanted
Wrong verb form
wanting
show examples
 to live
luxury
Replace the word
luxurious
show examples
 lifestyles .
Submitted by aahil922 on

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For we to consider an essay structure a great one, it should be looking like this:

  • Paragraph 1 - Introduction
    • Sentence 1 - Background statement
    • Sentence 2 - Detailed background statement
    • Sentence 3 - Thesis
    • Sentence 4 - Outline sentence
  • Paragraph 2 - First supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 3 - Second supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 4 - Conclusion
    • Sentence 1 - Summary
    • Sentence 2 - Restatement of thesis
    • Sentence 3 - Prediction or recommendation

Our recommended essay structure above comprises of fifteen (15) sentences, which will make your essay approximately 250 to 275 words.

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