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Writing Samples
Band 4

The world of work is changing so fast that employees cannot depend on having the same job or working conditions.  What are the possible causes for the rapid change, and what suggestions could be given for preparing people?

#world #work #employees #job #conditions #change #suggestions #people
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The working
world
Use synonyms
 is changing rapidly
that
Correct word choice
and
show examples
 workers cannot rely on having the same work or working surroundings. There are several reasons for
this
Linking Words
 phenomenon and I will provide advice that can help individuals prepare to meet challenges. There are types of reasons for
this
Linking Words
 working
world
Use synonyms
 not being stable for today’s employees.
First
Linking Words
 of all, more and more factories use
technology
Use synonyms
 equipment to replace
the
Correct article usage
apply
show examples
human, which can reduce the cost of labour. What is more, the equipment
do
Change the verb form
does
show examples
 not
need
Add the particle
toneed
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relax
Replace the word
relaxation
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 time, so
that
Correct word choice
apply
show examples
they can finish more products than that using human labour at the same time. Owing to
this
Linking Words
, many employees find themselves being laid off because their skills are replaced with machines or they have
a
Correct article usage
apply
show examples
little knowledge
on
Change preposition
of
show examples
 new
technology
Use synonyms
.
In addition
Linking Words
 to that, most companies suffer from
economy
Replace the word
economic
show examples
 risks, and the growth of
Correct article usage
the economic
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economic
Replace the word
economy
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 has slowed down in many countries, which leads to them cutting their expenses and workers.
As a result
Linking Words
, many people have to lose their job because they
are
Unnecessary verb
apply
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lack
of
Change preposition
apply
show examples
competitive
Replace the word
competition
show examples
 in their working conditions. There is
introduction
Add an article
an introduction
the introduction
show examples
 that I can provide to help
worker
Fix the agreement mistake
workers
show examples
 make themselves prepare for
this
Linking Words
 changing
world
Use synonyms
. workers need to learn more knowledge about
technology
Use synonyms
 to use it easily.
This
Linking Words
 can make them have another job in their familiar places if they are laid off. Meanwhile,
this
Linking Words
 ability
make
Change the verb form
makes
show examples
 them
to
Change the verb form
apply
show examples
be a person who cannot be replaced.
Which
Correct pronoun usage
This
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 means that their skill would not be replaceable and they may become the expert that their employers rely on.
Then
Linking Words
this
Linking Words
 skill can enhance their
competitive
Replace the word
competitiveness
show examples
 in their company, which can prevent them are laid off. All in all,
Use synonyms
technology
Replace the word
technological
show examples
 machines are
major
Add an article
a major
the major
show examples
 reason for
working
Correct article usage
the working
show examples
world
Use synonyms
 changing rapidly, people can learn how to use it well to protect their job or working conditions.
Submitted by surui1999 on

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To get an excellent score in the IELTS Task 2 writing section, one of the easiest and most effective tips is structuring your writing in the most solid format. A great argument essay structure may be divided to four paragraphs, in which comprises of four sentences (excluding the conclusion paragraph, which comprises of three sentences).

For we to consider an essay structure a great one, it should be looking like this:

  • Paragraph 1 - Introduction
    • Sentence 1 - Background statement
    • Sentence 2 - Detailed background statement
    • Sentence 3 - Thesis
    • Sentence 4 - Outline sentence
  • Paragraph 2 - First supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 3 - Second supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 4 - Conclusion
    • Sentence 1 - Summary
    • Sentence 2 - Restatement of thesis
    • Sentence 3 - Prediction or recommendation

Our recommended essay structure above comprises of fifteen (15) sentences, which will make your essay approximately 250 to 275 words.

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