Successful professional athletes can earn much more than people in other important professions, such as nurses, doctors and teacher.Someone considers it quite justified, and someone considers it unfair.To what extent tdo you agree or disagree?

✨ Do you want to improve your IELTS writing?
It is true that the wages received by some successful professional
Correct your spelling
athletes
atheletes
Correct your spelling
athletes
are more than that of other professionals. Some people find it unjustifiable, and I
also
Linking Words
consider myself to be one. In my opinion, I believe that other professionals should be highly regarded and should be more well compensated than these professional athletes.
First
Linking Words
of all, giving more regard to
athetes
Correct your spelling
athletes
than other professionals
such
Linking Words
as nurses, doctors, teachers, and policemen, will only discourage the younger generation to pursue the latter mentioned professions.
This
Linking Words
is due to the reason that being in the sports industry is more pleasurable as compared to being in
a
Correct article usage
the
show examples
risky jobs mentioned.
For instance
Linking Words
, playing basketball could be most
of
Change preposition
apply
show examples
the
Correct article usage
apply
show examples
young
men
Change noun form
men's
show examples
pastime hobby. If they will be given an opportunity to do their hobby and at the same time earn more,
then
Linking Words
, the tendency is they will be withdrawn to pursuing other purposeful work.
Moreover
Linking Words
,
Submitted by eyeteaser_18 on

Unauthorized use and/or duplication of this material without express and written permission from this site’s author and/or owner is strictly prohibited. Excerpts and links may be used, provided that full and clear credit is given to Writing9 with appropriate and specific direction to the original content.

Include an introduction and conclusion

A conclusion is essential for IELTS writing task 2. It is more important than most people realise. You will be penalised for missing a conclusion in your IELTS essay.

The easiest paragraph to write in an essay is the conclusion paragraph. This is because the paragraph mostly contains information that has already been presented in the essay – it is just the repetition of some information written in the introduction paragraph and supporting paragraphs.

The conclusion paragraph only has 3 sentences:

  • Summary
  • Restatement of thesis
  • Prediction or recommendation

Example:

To summarize, a robotic teacher does not have the necessary disciple to properly give instructions to students and actually works to retard the ability of a student to comprehend new lessons. Therefore, it is clear that the idea of running a classroom completely by a machine cannot be supported. After thorough analysis on this subject, it is predicted that the adverse effects of the debate over technology-driven teaching will always be greater than the positive effects, and because of this, classroom teachers will never be substituted for technology.

Start your conclusion with a linking phrase. Here are some examples:

  • In conclusion
  • To conclude
  • To summarize
  • Finally
  • In a nutshell
  • In general

Discover more tips in The Ultimate Guide to Get a Target Band Score of 7+ »— a book that's free for 🚀 Premium users.

What to do next:
Look at other essays: