Some people argue that it is not wise for an industry to replace its experienced but old workers with new and young yet inexperienced individuals. To what extent do you agree or disagree?

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Introduction

Almost all company policy change human resources by

replace

Change the verb form

replacing

show examples

Correct the article-noun agreement

apply

show examples

old

workers

Use synonyms

who

Correct your spelling

have

ohave

Correct your spelling

have

experience

Use synonyms

with

new

Add an article

a new

the new

show examples

and young

Use synonyms

person

Fix the agreement mistake

people

show examples

I'm strongly agree

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I strongly agree

show examples

with the solution.

Body paragraph 1

Firstly

Linking Words

, the

Correct your spelling

young

yooung

Correct your spelling

younger

generation can work

effective

Correct quantifier usage

more effective

show examples

and

productive

Correct quantifier usage

more productive

show examples

than the old

workers

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because they are active. They work with

creation

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the creation

show examples

of them and

devoting

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devote

show examples

as much as possible.

Moreover

Linking Words

, they need opportunities to gain

experience

Use synonyms

Correct your spelling

Nowadays

show examples

Nowaday

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Nowadays

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, many

company

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companies

show examples

have just

reruited

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recruited

Use synonyms

Change the verb form

experienced

show examples

experience

Correct your spelling

experienced

show examples

person

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so how

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apply

show examples

the young

person

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have a job when they have just

argiculture

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agriculture

Body paragraph 2

How about the old

workers

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? The big problem

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for

show examples

them is

the

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their

show examples

health. They need a break every 1 - 2

Correct your spelling

hours

hoours

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hours

whole young could work 5 -6

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hours

hoours

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hours

straight.

Moreover

Linking Words

, the old worker

have

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has

show examples

Add an article

a pension

show examples

pension

Fix the agreement mistake

pensions

show examples

when they

retirement

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retire

show examples

. So,

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show examples

policy chance worker is really necessary for

future

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the future

show examples

Body paragraph 3

Beside

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Besides

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this

Linking Words

, some people disagree with

this

Linking Words

solution because they believe that

experience

Use synonyms

is the most significant.

However

Linking Words

Correct article usage

the

show examples

business market is

Correct your spelling

modified

notified

nodified

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a nodified

show examples

day by day so

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show examples

company need to innovativeness by

receive

Wrong verb form

receiving

show examples

Correct article usage

the CV

show examples

the

Correct article usage

show examples

young

person

Use synonyms

Conclusion

In conclusion,

the

Correct article usage

apply

show examples

human resources should

Change the verb form

apply

show examples

replace the old

workers

Use synonyms

with

young

Add an article

the young

show examples

generation.

shin.le1988

Oct 16, 2022

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Fully explain your ideas

To get an excellent score in the IELTS Task 2 writing section, one of the easiest and most effective tips is structuring your writing in the most solid format. A great argument essay structure may be divided to four paragraphs, in which comprises of four sentences (excluding the conclusion paragraph, which comprises of three sentences).

For we to consider an essay structure a great one, it should be looking like this:

Paragraph 1 - Introduction

Sentence 1 - Background statement
Sentence 2 - Detailed background statement
Sentence 3 - Thesis
Sentence 4 - Outline sentence

Paragraph 2 - First supporting paragraph

Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
Sentence 2 - Example
Sentence 3 - Discussion
Sentence 4 - Conclusion

Paragraph 3 - Second supporting paragraph

Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
Sentence 2 - Example
Sentence 3 - Discussion
Sentence 4 - Conclusion

Paragraph 4 - Conclusion

Sentence 1 - Summary
Sentence 2 - Restatement of thesis
Sentence 3 - Prediction or recommendation

Our recommended essay structure above comprises of fifteen (15) sentences, which will make your essay approximately 250 to 275 words.

Discover more tips in The Ultimate Guide to Get a Target Band Score of 7+ »- a book that's free for 🚀 Premium users.

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4
Linking words
meeting the goal of 7 or more
3
Word repetition
meeting the goal of 3 or fewer
44
Grammar mistakes
detected issues

<4

Overall Band Score

Coherence and Cohesion: 4.0

Logical structure

Introduction & conclusion present

Supported main points

Accurate linking words

Variety in linking words

Lexical resource: 4.0

Varied vocabulary

Accurate spelling & word formation

Grammatical Range: 4.0

Mix of complex & simple sentences

Clear and correct grammar

Task Achievement: 4.0

Complete response

Clear & comprehensive ideas

Relevant & specific examples

Appropriate word count

5 paragraphs

187 words

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Topic Vocabulary:

experienced
old workers
young
inexperienced
replace
industry
wise
argue
valuable
skills
knowledge
loss of expertise
lack
necessary
experience
maturity
diverse
workforce
mix
age groups
beneficial
focus
providing opportunities
continuous learning
development
balanced approach
smooth transition
maintain productivity

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Some people argue that it is not wise for an industry to replace its experienced but old workers with new and young yet inexperienced individuals. To what extent do you agree or disagree?

Some people think that children should be raised by all the family members (uncle, aunt and grandparents) rather than only parents. Give your opinion.

Students generally prefer to choose the period they are supposed to study and the period they are free to have fun. They should be allowed to do their time management. Do you agree or disagree?

Some people think that individuals should be responsible for reducing pollution, while others believe it is the government’s responsibility. Discuss both views and give your opinion.