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Some people think that the best way to stay fit is to join a gym or a health club, while others think doing everyday activities such as walking and climbing stairs is sufficient.

#people #gym #health #club #activities #stairs
While some
people
 spend
much
Correct quantifier usage
a lot of
show examples
 money
for
Change preposition
on
show examples
 joining to
gym
Add an article
the gym
show examples
,
health
 club etc, others prefer to
economy
Add an article
the economy
show examples
 and stay fit in
easier
Add an article
an easier
show examples
 way. In my point of
view
Add a comma
,view
show examples
 it is better
join
Add the particle
to join
show examples
 a
gym
 or a
health
 club. Both sides will be discussed in
this
 essay. It is evident, that
Correct your spelling
nowadays
show examples
nowaday
Correct your spelling
nowadays
show examples
people
 who want
stay
Fix the infinitive
to stay
show examples
 fit,
not
Add a missing verb
do not
show examples
 always have extra money for going to
gym
Add an article
the gym
show examples
. In
this
 case,
people
 try to do it by themselves, by walking, running outside, climbing stairs or
home
Add a missing verb
doing home
show examples
 exercises. But, unfortunately, for doing all of
this
Correct pronoun usage
these
show examples
 points to be fit needs
a
Correct article usage
apply
show examples
good
weather
 conditions,
what
Correct pronoun usage
which
show examples
 not every country
have
Correct subject-verb agreement
has
show examples
. To illustrate, in Kazakhstan, there are not really profitable conditions of
weather
, for getting fit outside,
out
Correct your spelling
our
show examples
 country has
much
Correct quantifier usage
apply
show examples
rains
Replace the word
rainy
show examples
 and cold
weather
in
Add the comma(s)
,in
show examples
 fact, so they should do home exercises,
what
Correct pronoun usage
which
show examples
 is actually not really effective.
On the other hand
, there is one more type of
people
 who are able to stay fit, by going to the
gym
 centres. I firmly support
this
 choice, the reason behind
this
 is that
,
Remove the comma
apply
show examples
 obviously
people
 need control. The reason for
this
 is that usually
people
 who want to get fit, tend to be lazy, so for avoiding long
period
Fix the agreement mistake
periods
show examples
 of getting on well, they choose
gym
 centres with coaches, who will not afford them to
running
Wrong verb form
run
show examples
 out of
exercises
Fix the agreement mistake
exercise
show examples
.
Moreover
, in
current
Add an article
the current
show examples
 era,
health
 clubs have many profitable sales or
abonements
Correct your spelling
abonnements
, so
that
Correct word choice
apply
show examples
people
 could spend not a huge amount of cash.
This
 is the reason, why it is better to stay fit not
wasting
Wrong verb form
waste
show examples
 all of your money and
doing
Wrong verb form
do
show examples
 it more effective. To conclude, it can hardly be denied that visiting
gym
 clubs in comparison with self-fitting is much better.
Moreover
, running in bad
weather
 conditions leads to many other troubles with
health
.
Submitted by Allazhar on

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Fully explain your ideas

To get an excellent score in the IELTS Task 2 writing section, one of the easiest and most effective tips is structuring your writing in the most solid format. A great argument essay structure may be divided to four paragraphs, in which comprises of four sentences (excluding the conclusion paragraph, which comprises of three sentences).

For we to consider an essay structure a great one, it should be looking like this:

  • Paragraph 1 - Introduction
    • Sentence 1 - Background statement
    • Sentence 2 - Detailed background statement
    • Sentence 3 - Thesis
    • Sentence 4 - Outline sentence
  • Paragraph 2 - First supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 3 - Second supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 4 - Conclusion
    • Sentence 1 - Summary
    • Sentence 2 - Restatement of thesis
    • Sentence 3 - Prediction or recommendation

Our recommended essay structure above comprises of fifteen (15) sentences, which will make your essay approximately 250 to 275 words.

Discover more tips in The Ultimate Guide to Get a Target Band Score of 7+ »— a book that's free for 🚀 Premium users.

Topic Vocabulary:
  • cardiovascular health
  • resistance training
  • physical endurance
  • muscle tone
  • caloric expenditure
  • sedentary lifestyle
  • motivational factor
  • fitness regimen
  • holistic health
  • sustainable exercise habit
  • metabolic rate
  • physical exertion
  • exercise consistency
  • health maintenance
What to do next:
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