Nuclear power is far too dangerous. Therefore, countries should ban its use and concentrate instead in developing alternative sources of energy such as hydroelectric power, and solar energy. Do you agree or disagree. Give reasons for your answers

It is considered by some individuals that
energy
generated from nuclear sources
are
Correct subject-verb agreement
is
show examples
more harmful than other
forms
and should be prohibited. I agree with
this
because nuclear
energy
can cause sickness and the
power
generated from it can be uncontrollable. One reason why other
forms
of
energy
other than nuclear
power
should be used is that nuclear
energy
can cause illness. Nuclear
energy
in its mode of generation and transmission releases some
radiations
Fix the agreement mistake
radiation
show examples
. These radiations affect the body negatively causing sicknesses.
For example
, the first time radiation from nuclear
energy
came in contact with human beings, it caused some form of defects in babies.
This
nuclear
power
has lots of unconcluded ongoing studies to determine the extent of the dangers it
cause
Change the verb form
causes
show examples
.
This
factor makes it unsuitable for use in our daily activities as it is unsafe. Another point to consider is that nuclear
energy
can be difficult to curtail. By
this
I mean,
this
Correct word choice
that this
show examples
energy
form is usually in
form
Correct article usage
the form
show examples
of gas.
This
quality
furthermore
makes it difficult to control when it is released. The other
forms
of
energy
are in more tangible
forms
.
For instance
, the whole world can be brought to its
knee
Fix the agreement mistake
knees
show examples
if a country with nuclear
power
releases it into the atmosphere.
This
is because the effect will be so much
as
Correct word choice
that
show examples
no one is able to control it when it is released. In conclusion, I think people should be stopped from using nuclear
energy
because it causes sickness and
it
Correct pronoun usage
apply
show examples
is difficult to control once released.
Submitted by beansola on

Unauthorized use and/or duplication of this material without express and written permission from this site’s author and/or owner is strictly prohibited. Excerpts and links may be used, provided that full and clear credit is given to Writing9 with appropriate and specific direction to the original content.

Task Response
Please provide a clearer introduction and conclusion to your essay. Your main points are not well supported and lack sufficient detail. Make sure to include relevant examples to support your arguments.
Coherence and Cohesion
Your essay needs a more logical structure to help the reader follow your arguments easily. Pay attention to the organization of your ideas within paragraphs and throughout the essay. Additionally, your introduction and conclusion need to be more clearly presented. Aim for a more cohesive and coherent structure.

Use cohesive linking words accurately and appropriately

Linking words are very important in your essay.

To score effectively on your IELTS exam, you should make an effort to implement short concise sentences coupled with linking words.

Almost every sentence in your essay should have a linking word of some sort.

In fact, the only sentences that can omit linking words are your background sentence and thesis.

Linking word examples:

  • firstly
  • secondly
  • thirdly
  • in additional
  • moreover
  • also
  • for example
  • for instance
  • therefore
  • however
  • although
  • even though
  • despite

Discover more tips in The Ultimate Guide to Get a Target Band Score of 7+ »— a book that's free for 🚀 Premium users.

Essentional vocabulary list for IELTS Writing 7+

Learn how to write high-scoring essays with powerful words.
Download Free PDF and start improving you writing skills today!
What to do next:
Look at other essays: