IELTS Writing Correction Service
Writing Samples
Band 5

People today increasingly use credit cards to make monthly purchases. Do the advantages of this outweigh the disadvantages?

#people #credit #cards #purchases #outweigh
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The
amount
Change the quantifier
number
show examples
 of people who utilises
credit
Use synonyms
 cards
to
Change preposition
for
show examples
 their monthly expenditures increased. In my point of view
disadvantages
Correct article usage
the disadvantages
show examples
outweighs
Change the verb form
outweigh
show examples
advantages
Correct article usage
the advantages
show examples
.
This
Linking Words
 essay will include several reasons to support
this
Linking Words
 opinion. For
people
Add a comma
,people
show examples
 it is hard to take over the things which
Change the verb form
do
show examples
is
Correct your spelling
it
show examples
 does not belong to
him
Correct pronoun usage
them
show examples
. When
customer
Add an article
a customer
the customer
show examples
 of the
bank
Use synonyms
get
Correct subject-verb agreement
gets
show examples
 a
credit
Use synonyms
card
Use synonyms
 he may think that
Use synonyms
bank
Correct article usage
the bank
show examples
 giving him
a
Remove the article
apply
show examples
free
money
Use synonyms
 and he goes to spend all of them. Misunderstanding
this
Linking Words
 simple concept is that you do not get free
money
Use synonyms
 anywhere if there
is
Change the verb form
are
show examples
 some options
then
Linking Words
 know It will not
last
Linking Words
 long.
Use synonyms
Bank
Add an article
The bank
show examples
 giving
customer
Correct article usage
a customer
show examples
Use synonyms
credit
Correct article usage
a credit
show examples
card
Use synonyms
 approves his solvent and logically
this
Linking Words
 means that
Correct article usage
the user
show examples
user
Replace the word
use
show examples
 of
Use synonyms
credit
Correct article usage
a credit
show examples
card
Use synonyms
 has to pay back what he spent.
Linking Words
Otherwise
Add a comma
,Otherwise
show examples
 if he is not capable to do it
bank
Use synonyms
 just
do
Change the verb form
does
show examples
 not give him
Use synonyms
credit
Add an article
a credit
show examples
card
Use synonyms
.
Consequently
Linking Words
 not recognising
this
Linking Words
 plain idea leads to certain issues.
First
Linking Words
 and foremost it is illusion. When
individual
Correct article usage
an individual
show examples
have
Change the verb form
has
show examples
unlimited
Add an article
an unlimited
show examples
 amount of
money
Use synonyms
 that can
be expend
Change the verb form
be expended
show examples
to
Change preposition
on
show examples
 anything it may bring
illusion
Correct article usage
an illusion
show examples
 which will give him
feeling
Correct article usage
the feeling
show examples
 that everything will be ok and all
this
Linking Words
money
Use synonyms
 that he has to pay back disappear in some magical way. He starts buying whatever he wants but he overlooks that
in
Change the preposition
at
show examples
 the end of the month there will be a bill which must be repaid.
Linking Words
Moreover
Add a comma
,Moreover
show examples
Use synonyms
bank
Fix the agreement mistake
banks
show examples
 can add require more
money
Use synonyms
 than they actually provide you,
for
Linking Words
instance
Add a comma
,instance
show examples
 it could be caused by percentages. In
conclusion
Add a comma
,conclusion
show examples
 I want to say that every person should spend only
those
Correct determiner usage
the
show examples
 amount of
money
Use synonyms
 that he actually has in the
bank
Use synonyms
 account.
Therefore
Linking Words
 at least you will not have debts which makes you
free
Correct article usage
a free
show examples
 person to compare with the one who lives in the “illusion”
Submitted by Allazhar on

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Support ideas with relevant, specific examples

Examples make your writing easier to understand by illustrating points more effectively.

Examples, if used properly, not only help you get higher marks for ‘Task Response’ but also for ‘Coherence’.

When giving examples it is best to put them after your main idea or topic sentence. They can be used in the middle of supporting sentences or they can be used to start a new sentence. There is no rule for where exactly to give examples in essays, logically they would come after your main idea/topic sentence or just after a supporting sentence.

Linking words for giving examples:

  • for example
  • for instance
  • to illustrate this
  • to give a clear example
  • such as
  • namely
  • to illustrate
  • take, for example

Discover more tips in The Ultimate Guide to Get a Target Band Score of 7+ »— a book that's free for 🚀 Premium users.

Topic Vocabulary:
  • Cashless transactions
  • Financial footprint
  • Interest rates
  • Credit score
  • Consumerism
  • Debt accumulation
  • Expenditure tracking
  • Fraudulent activities
  • Overspending
  • Purchase protection
  • Revolving credit
  • Creditworthiness
  • Impulse buying
  • Secured credit card
  • Unsecured credit card
  • Spending limit
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