Some people think that museums should be enjoyable places to entertain people, while others believe that the purpose of museums is to educate. Discuss both views and give your own opinion?

People
have different thoughts about
museums
. Some think that the purpose of old
buildings
is to entertain folks but others are opposed that
museums
are
Wrong verb form
being
show examples
made to teach
people
. I will discuss both points of view in upcoming paragraphs. On the one hand,nowadays most
of
Change preposition
apply
show examples
the
Correct article usage
apply
show examples
people
like to explore different areas. There are games which have different kinds of lights and music that help
community
Add an article
the community
show examples
to entertain themselves and their children. In
this
era, the government is making a good amount of money through the tourism industry. Most
of
Change preposition
apply
show examples
Add an article
the
show examples
tourists visit old
buildings
on vacation so that they can refresh their minds from their workplaces.
On the other hand
,
museums
are meant to teach
people
. Old
buildings
are the signs of the ancestors. They make those
buildings
in their time . So, young generations are supposed to learn from them to get knowledge for the future.
Also
, if parents encourage their children to visit
museums
. In that way, they can put their learning from
foundation
Add an article
the foundation
a foundation
show examples
in their school assignments.
For example
, the museum in Anandpur sahib which is called
virsat
Correct your spelling
first
e Khalsa is good to learn from the 10 gurus of Sikhs and the history of India before 1947. That museum includes different kinds of pictures and videos which is helpful to know about history. To conclude,
Add an article
the gallery
show examples
gallery
Fix the agreement mistake
galleries
show examples
are the best way to get knowledge about history. So government should spend more money on building so
that future generations
Change the determiner
that future generation
those future generations
show examples
can learn about their ancestor's struggles and time.
Submitted by kaurparm41 on

Unauthorized use and/or duplication of this material without express and written permission from this site’s author and/or owner is strictly prohibited. Excerpts and links may be used, provided that full and clear credit is given to Writing9 with appropriate and specific direction to the original content.

Fully explain your ideas

To get an excellent score in the IELTS Task 2 writing section, one of the easiest and most effective tips is structuring your writing in the most solid format. A great argument essay structure may be divided to four paragraphs, in which comprises of four sentences (excluding the conclusion paragraph, which comprises of three sentences).

For we to consider an essay structure a great one, it should be looking like this:

  • Paragraph 1 - Introduction
    • Sentence 1 - Background statement
    • Sentence 2 - Detailed background statement
    • Sentence 3 - Thesis
    • Sentence 4 - Outline sentence
  • Paragraph 2 - First supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 3 - Second supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 4 - Conclusion
    • Sentence 1 - Summary
    • Sentence 2 - Restatement of thesis
    • Sentence 3 - Prediction or recommendation

Our recommended essay structure above comprises of fifteen (15) sentences, which will make your essay approximately 250 to 275 words.

Discover more tips in The Ultimate Guide to Get a Target Band Score of 7+ »— a book that's free for 🚀 Premium users.

What to do next:
Look at other essays: