Television has diminished the free time of people. It can make people lazy and not socialize with others. Do you agree or disagree?

In
this
contemporary era,Television has become a vital source of
entertainment
.
However
,it occupied
family's
Correct article usage
the family's
show examples
precious
time
and made them less active.
Moreover
,individuals spend most of their
time
in front of
this
entertainment
box and the need for communication with others is highly decreased.I completely agree with
this
notion and going to elaborate on my stand in
this
essay.
To begin
with,most public
spend
Change the verb form
spends
show examples
their leisure day watching their favourite movies or sports on television.
Moreover
,
entertainment
companies have found a way to mesmerise their subscribers to watch their channels and tend to increase their market value.
Also
,the increasing count and variety of channels made
people
sit and watch for a stipulated period of
hour
Add an article
an hour
show examples
.These situations made
community
Correct article usage
the community
show examples
procrastinate doing their normal activities.
Further
, the day every individual spends with their friends and families gets lessened. To add,Due to harsh weather conditions in most countries, most
people
prefer to stay indoors rather than go outside.
This
situation allows society to search for their amusement inside their homes and engaged
with
Change preposition
in
show examples
playing games and watching their favourite team play.In reality,these activities eat a huge amount of their
time
and make them less active.
Moreover
, a lot of news channels are providing their updates 24/7 and make
people
sit watching their critical headlines.
Also
,
people
are eager to know about the political and economic situations around the world.
Hence
,
family
Fix the agreement mistake
families
show examples
are tied to
this
entertainment
source.
This
may cause disputes among families and they are unable to spend their
time
with their children. To conclude,Television occupied our precious
time
and productivity and made us a less social community.
Submitted by stevejegan on

Unauthorized use and/or duplication of this material without express and written permission from this site’s author and/or owner is strictly prohibited. Excerpts and links may be used, provided that full and clear credit is given to Writing9 with appropriate and specific direction to the original content.

Fully explain your ideas

To get an excellent score in the IELTS Task 2 writing section, one of the easiest and most effective tips is structuring your writing in the most solid format. A great argument essay structure may be divided to four paragraphs, in which comprises of four sentences (excluding the conclusion paragraph, which comprises of three sentences).

For we to consider an essay structure a great one, it should be looking like this:

  • Paragraph 1 - Introduction
    • Sentence 1 - Background statement
    • Sentence 2 - Detailed background statement
    • Sentence 3 - Thesis
    • Sentence 4 - Outline sentence
  • Paragraph 2 - First supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 3 - Second supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 4 - Conclusion
    • Sentence 1 - Summary
    • Sentence 2 - Restatement of thesis
    • Sentence 3 - Prediction or recommendation

Our recommended essay structure above comprises of fifteen (15) sentences, which will make your essay approximately 250 to 275 words.

Discover more tips in The Ultimate Guide to Get a Target Band Score of 7+ »— a book that's free for 🚀 Premium users.

What to do next:
Look at other essays: