IELTS Writing Correction Service
Writing Samples
Band 3

some people believe that women should play an equal role as men in a country police force or military force ,such as army ,while others think women are not suitable for these kinds of jobs

#people #women #role #men #country #police #force #army #kinds #jobs
✨ Do you want to improve your IELTS writing?
it goes
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without
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with out
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without
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 saying that
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women
women's
womens
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women
show examples
 are facing to get these
kinds
 of
job
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jobs
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.In our
society
 ,they are thinking
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women
womens
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women
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 are not suitable for these
kinds
 of jobs ,
thus
 why
women
Change noun form
women's
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 empowerment still not
acheiving
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achieving
 .They are thinking
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women
womens
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women
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 are very sensitive and
soft minded
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soft-minded
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 they cannot handle
and
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it and
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dosenot
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does not
don't
doesn't
 have
power
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the power
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 to continue if compare with
Add an article
a man
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man
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men
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.
some
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In some
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 of our cultures
also
 the families are not allowed to do these
kinds
 of
job
Fix the agreement mistake
jobs
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 they are mythically
this
job
 is only for
mqn
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men
in
main
 .If the
women
 are suggesting for
this
 they are not happy and it will not
accepting
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accept
be accepting
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 the community,
However
 some people in
society
they
Correct pronoun usage
apply
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are thinking differently about their culture and beliefs and
different
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have different
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 point of view
aganist
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against
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women
womens
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women
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.That kind of group are thinking
women
 and man plays
a
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an
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 equal role in
society
 and these
kinds
 of
job
. In my view .Both
gender
Change to a plural noun
genders
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having
Wrong verb form
have
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 equal
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responsibility
respondsibilty
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responsibility
 in our
society
then
women
 can do any
kinds
Fix the agreement mistake
kind
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 of
job
same
Correct article usage
the same
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like
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apply
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as
man
Fix the agreement mistake
men
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,
Firstly
 need to
be
Unnecessary verb
apply
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eliminated
eliminate
elimintae
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eliminate
 the myths of thinking in our
society
 and need to
be educate
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educate
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 the family
also
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and also
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what
Change preposition
about what
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 importance of
women
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women's
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enpowerment
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empowerment
 in our
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society
soceity
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society
.The most important need
to
Add a missing verb
is to
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 bring back
the
Correct article usage
apply
show examples
women
Change noun form
women's
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 empowerment. I conclude both
gender
Change to a plural noun
genders
show examples
having
Wrong verb form
have
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 equal rights in
society
 .If they have will power to
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achieve
acheive
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achieve
 the goal we should
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encourage
encorage
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encourage
 them in all ways
..
Replace the punctuation
.
...
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Fully explain your ideas

To get an excellent score in the IELTS Task 2 writing section, one of the easiest and most effective tips is structuring your writing in the most solid format. A great argument essay structure may be divided to four paragraphs, in which comprises of four sentences (excluding the conclusion paragraph, which comprises of three sentences).

For we to consider an essay structure a great one, it should be looking like this:

  • Paragraph 1 - Introduction
    • Sentence 1 - Background statement
    • Sentence 2 - Detailed background statement
    • Sentence 3 - Thesis
    • Sentence 4 - Outline sentence
  • Paragraph 2 - First supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 3 - Second supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 4 - Conclusion
    • Sentence 1 - Summary
    • Sentence 2 - Restatement of thesis
    • Sentence 3 - Prediction or recommendation

Our recommended essay structure above comprises of fifteen (15) sentences, which will make your essay approximately 250 to 275 words.

Discover more tips in The Ultimate Guide to Get a Target Band Score of 7+ »— a book that's free for 🚀 Premium users.

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