IELTS Writing Correction Service
Writing Samples
Band 3

some people believe that women should play an equal role as men in a country police force or military force ,such as army ,while others think women are not suitable for these kinds of jobs

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Introduction
it goes
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without
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with out
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without
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 saying that
Use synonyms
Correct your spelling
women
women's
womens
Correct your spelling
women
show examples
 are facing to get these
kinds
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 of
Use synonyms
job
Fix the agreement mistake
jobs
show examples
.In our
society
Use synonyms
 ,they are thinking
Use synonyms
Correct your spelling
women
womens
Correct your spelling
women
show examples
 are not suitable for these
kinds
Use synonyms
 of jobs ,
thus
Linking Words
 why
Use synonyms
women
Change noun form
women's
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 empowerment still not
acheiving
Correct your spelling
achieving
 .They are thinking
Use synonyms
Correct your spelling
women
womens
Correct your spelling
women
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 are very sensitive and
soft minded
Add a hyphen
soft-minded
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 they cannot handle
and
Correct pronoun usage
it and
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dosenot
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does not
don't
doesn't
 have
power
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the power
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 to continue if compare with
Add an article
a man
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man
Fix the agreement mistake
men
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.
Body paragraph 1
some
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In some
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 of our cultures
also
Linking Words
 the families are not allowed to do these
kinds
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 of
Use synonyms
job
Fix the agreement mistake
jobs
show examples
 they are mythically
this
Linking Words
job
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 is only for
mqn
Correct your spelling
men
in
main
 .If the
women
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 are suggesting for
this
Linking Words
 they are not happy and it will not
accepting
Change the verb form
accept
be accepting
show examples
 the community,
However
Linking Words
 some people in
society
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they
Correct pronoun usage
apply
show examples
are thinking differently about their culture and beliefs and
different
Add a missing verb
have different
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 point of view
aganist
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against
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Correct your spelling
women
womens
Correct your spelling
women
show examples
.That kind of group are thinking
women
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 and man plays
a
Change the article
an
show examples
 equal role in
society
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 and these
kinds
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 of
job
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.
Body paragraph 2
In my view .Both
gender
Change to a plural noun
genders
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having
Wrong verb form
have
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 equal
Correct your spelling
responsibility
respondsibilty
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responsibility
 in our
society
Use synonyms
then
Linking Words
women
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 can do any
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kinds
Fix the agreement mistake
kind
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 of
job
Use synonyms
same
Correct article usage
the same
show examples
like
Change preposition
apply
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as
man
Fix the agreement mistake
men
show examples
,
Firstly
Linking Words
 need to
be
Unnecessary verb
apply
show examples
Correct your spelling
eliminated
eliminate
elimintae
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eliminate
 the myths of thinking in our
society
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 and need to
be educate
Change the verb form
educate
show examples
 the family
Linking Words
also
Correct word choice
and also
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what
Change preposition
about what
show examples
 importance of
Use synonyms
women
Change noun form
women's
show examples
enpowerment
Correct your spelling
empowerment
 in our
Correct your spelling
society
soceity
Correct your spelling
society
.The most important need
to
Add a missing verb
is to
show examples
 bring back
the
Correct article usage
apply
show examples
Use synonyms
women
Change noun form
women's
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 empowerment.
Conclusion
I conclude both
gender
Change to a plural noun
genders
show examples
having
Wrong verb form
have
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 equal rights in
society
Use synonyms
 .If they have will power to
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achieve
acheive
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achieve
 the goal we should
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encourage
encorage
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encourage
 them in all ways
..
Replace the punctuation
.
...
show examples

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Fully explain your ideas

To get an excellent score in the IELTS Task 2 writing section, one of the easiest and most effective tips is structuring your writing in the most solid format. A great argument essay structure may be divided to four paragraphs, in which comprises of four sentences (excluding the conclusion paragraph, which comprises of three sentences).

For we to consider an essay structure a great one, it should be looking like this:

  • Paragraph 1 - Introduction
    • Sentence 1 - Background statement
    • Sentence 2 - Detailed background statement
    • Sentence 3 - Thesis
    • Sentence 4 - Outline sentence
  • Paragraph 2 - First supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 3 - Second supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 4 - Conclusion
    • Sentence 1 - Summary
    • Sentence 2 - Restatement of thesis
    • Sentence 3 - Prediction or recommendation

Our recommended essay structure above comprises of fifteen (15) sentences, which will make your essay approximately 250 to 275 words.

Discover more tips in The Ultimate Guide to Get a Target Band Score of 7+ »- a book that's free for 🚀 Premium users.

Topic Vocabulary:
  • gender equality
  • diverse perspectives
  • team effectiveness
  • decision-making
  • physical fitness
  • performance
  • gender stereotypes
  • community policing
  • inclusive society
  • equitable society
  • valuable contributions
  • inspiration
  • role models
  • skill set
  • demanding roles
  • comfort and understanding
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