some people believe that women should play an equal role as men in a country police force or military force ,such as army ,while others think women are not suitable for these kinds of jobs

it goes
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without
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with out
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without
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saying that
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women
women's
womens
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women
show examples
are facing to get these
kinds
of
job
Fix the agreement mistake
jobs
show examples
.In our
society
,they are thinking
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women
womens
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women
show examples
are not suitable for these
kinds
of jobs ,
thus
why
women
Change noun form
women's
show examples
empowerment still not
acheiving
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achieving
.They are thinking
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women
womens
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women
show examples
are very sensitive and
soft minded
Add a hyphen
soft-minded
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they cannot handle
and
Correct pronoun usage
it and
show examples
dosenot
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does not
don't
doesn't
have
power
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the power
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to continue if compare with
Add an article
a man
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man
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men
show examples
.
some
Change preposition
In some
show examples
of our cultures
also
the families are not allowed to do these
kinds
of
job
Fix the agreement mistake
jobs
show examples
they are mythically
this
job
is only for
mqn
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men
in
main
.If the
women
are suggesting for
this
they are not happy and it will not
accepting
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accept
be accepting
show examples
the community,
However
some people in
society
they
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apply
show examples
are thinking differently about their culture and beliefs and
different
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have different
show examples
point of view
aganist
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against
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women
womens
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women
show examples
.That kind of group are thinking
women
and man plays
a
Change the article
an
show examples
equal role in
society
and these
kinds
of
job
. In my view .Both
gender
Change to a plural noun
genders
show examples
having
Wrong verb form
have
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equal
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responsibility
respondsibilty
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responsibility
in our
society
then
women
can do any
kinds
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kind
show examples
of
job
same
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the same
show examples
like
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apply
show examples
as
man
Fix the agreement mistake
men
show examples
,
Firstly
need to
be
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apply
show examples
Correct your spelling
eliminated
eliminate
elimintae
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eliminate
the myths of thinking in our
society
and need to
be educate
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educate
show examples
the family
also
Correct word choice
and also
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what
Change preposition
about what
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importance of
women
Change noun form
women's
show examples
enpowerment
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empowerment
in our
Correct your spelling
society
soceity
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society
.The most important need
to
Add a missing verb
is to
show examples
bring back
the
Correct article usage
apply
show examples
women
Change noun form
women's
show examples
empowerment. I conclude both
gender
Change to a plural noun
genders
show examples
having
Wrong verb form
have
show examples
equal rights in
society
.If they have will power to
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achieve
acheive
Correct your spelling
achieve
the goal we should
Correct your spelling
encourage
encorage
Correct your spelling
encourage
them in all ways
..
Replace the punctuation
.
...
show examples
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Fully explain your ideas

To get an excellent score in the IELTS Task 2 writing section, one of the easiest and most effective tips is structuring your writing in the most solid format. A great argument essay structure may be divided to four paragraphs, in which comprises of four sentences (excluding the conclusion paragraph, which comprises of three sentences).

For we to consider an essay structure a great one, it should be looking like this:

  • Paragraph 1 - Introduction
    • Sentence 1 - Background statement
    • Sentence 2 - Detailed background statement
    • Sentence 3 - Thesis
    • Sentence 4 - Outline sentence
  • Paragraph 2 - First supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 3 - Second supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 4 - Conclusion
    • Sentence 1 - Summary
    • Sentence 2 - Restatement of thesis
    • Sentence 3 - Prediction or recommendation

Our recommended essay structure above comprises of fifteen (15) sentences, which will make your essay approximately 250 to 275 words.

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