some people believe that women should play an equal role as men in a country police force or military force ,such as army ,while others think women are not suitable for these kinds of jobs

#people #women #role #men #country #police #force #army #kinds #jobs

it goes

Correct your spelling

without

show examples

with out

Correct your spelling

without

show examples

saying that

Correct your spelling

women

women's

womens

Correct your spelling

women

show examples

are facing to get these

kinds

job

Fix the agreement mistake

jobs

show examples

.In our

society

,they are thinking

Correct your spelling

women

womens

Correct your spelling

women

show examples

are not suitable for these

kinds

of jobs ,

thus

why

women

Change noun form

women's

show examples

empowerment still not

acheiving

Correct your spelling

achieving

.They are thinking

Correct your spelling

women

womens

Correct your spelling

women

show examples

are very sensitive and

soft minded

Add a hyphen

soft-minded

show examples

they cannot handle

and

Correct pronoun usage

it and

show examples

dosenot

Correct your spelling

does not

don't

doesn't

have

power

Change the article

the power

show examples

to continue if compare with

Add an article

a man

show examples

man

Fix the agreement mistake

men

show examples

some

Change preposition

In some

show examples

of our cultures

also

the families are not allowed to do these

kinds

job

Fix the agreement mistake

jobs

show examples

they are mythically

this

job

is only for

mqn

Correct your spelling

men

main

.If the

women

are suggesting for

this

they are not happy and it will not

accepting

Change the verb form

be accepting

show examples

the community,

However

some people in

society

they

Correct pronoun usage

apply

show examples

are thinking differently about their culture and beliefs and

different

Add a missing verb

have different

show examples

point of view

aganist

Correct your spelling

against

Correct your spelling

women

womens

Correct your spelling

women

show examples

.That kind of group are thinking

women

and man plays

Change the article

show examples

equal role in

society

and these

kinds

job

. In my view .Both

gender

Change to a plural noun

genders

show examples

having

Wrong verb form

have

show examples

equal

Correct your spelling

responsibility

respondsibilty

Correct your spelling

responsibility

in our

society

then

women

can do any

kinds

Fix the agreement mistake

kind

show examples

job

same

Correct article usage

the same

show examples

Change preposition

apply

show examples

man

Fix the agreement mistake

men

show examples

Firstly

need to

Unnecessary verb

apply

show examples

Correct your spelling

eliminated

eliminate

elimintae

Correct your spelling

eliminate

the myths of thinking in our

society

and need to

be educate

Change the verb form

educate

show examples

the family

also

Correct word choice

and also

show examples

what

Change preposition

about what

show examples

importance of

women

Change noun form

women's

show examples

enpowerment

Correct your spelling

empowerment

in our

Correct your spelling

society

soceity

Correct your spelling

society

.The most important need

Add a missing verb

is to

show examples

bring back

the

Correct article usage

apply

show examples

women

Change noun form

women's

show examples

empowerment. I conclude both

gender

Change to a plural noun

genders

show examples

having

Wrong verb form

have

show examples

equal rights in

society

.If they have will power to

Correct your spelling

achieve

acheive

Correct your spelling

achieve

the goal we should

Correct your spelling

encourage

encorage

Correct your spelling

encourage

them in all ways

Replace the punctuation

...

show examples

Submitted by athulyanair259 on Thu Oct 20 2022

Unauthorized use and/or duplication of this material without express and written permission from this site’s author and/or owner is strictly prohibited. Excerpts and links may be used, provided that full and clear credit is given to Writing9 with appropriate and specific direction to the original content.

Fully explain your ideas

To get an excellent score in the IELTS Task 2 writing section, one of the easiest and most effective tips is structuring your writing in the most solid format. A great argument essay structure may be divided to four paragraphs, in which comprises of four sentences (excluding the conclusion paragraph, which comprises of three sentences).

For we to consider an essay structure a great one, it should be looking like this:

Paragraph 1 - Introduction

Sentence 1 - Background statement
Sentence 2 - Detailed background statement
Sentence 3 - Thesis
Sentence 4 - Outline sentence

Paragraph 2 - First supporting paragraph

Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
Sentence 2 - Example
Sentence 3 - Discussion
Sentence 4 - Conclusion

Paragraph 3 - Second supporting paragraph

Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
Sentence 2 - Example
Sentence 3 - Discussion
Sentence 4 - Conclusion

Paragraph 4 - Conclusion

Sentence 1 - Summary
Sentence 2 - Restatement of thesis
Sentence 3 - Prediction or recommendation

Our recommended essay structure above comprises of fifteen (15) sentences, which will make your essay approximately 250 to 275 words.

Discover more tips in The Ultimate Guide to Get a Target Band Score of 7+ »— a book that's free for 🚀 Premium users.

Essentional vocabulary list for IELTS Writing 7+

Learn how to write high-scoring essays with powerful words.
Download Free PDF and start improving you writing skills today!

Do you want to check your IELTS essays?

Submit unlimited essays, letters and charts. Sign up right now and start improving your writing skills.

6Linking words
meeting the goal of 7 or more
5Word repetition
meeting the goal of 3 or fewer
55Grammar mistakes
 

4 paragraphs

229 words

<4

Overall Band Score

Coherence and Cohesion: 4.0

Logical structure

Introduction & conclusion present

Supported main points

Accurate linking words

Variety in linking words

Lexical resource: 4.0

Varied vocabulary

Accurate spelling & word formation

Grammatical Range: 4.0

Mix of complex & simple sentences

Clear and correct grammar

Task Achievement: 5.0

Complete response

5.5

Clear & comprehensive ideas

Relevant & specific examples

Appropriate word count

🚀 Prepare for IELTS writing section today!

Unlimited Task 1 & Task 2 checks
Practice with essays, charts, and letters.
Personalized suggestions & mistake analysis
Spot every mistake and boost your score.
Topic ideas & vocabulary helpers
Expand your ideas and use the right words.
Progress tracking
Watch your writing improve with every practice.

What to do next:

Look at other essays:

8
band
Some people enjoy change and they look forward to new experiences. Others like their lives to remain the same and do not like any changes. What is your opinion as far as change in life is concerned? Give reasons for your answer and include any relevant examples from your own knowledge or experience.
Some want to change their environment and long for something new, whereas others dislike such transition and hope for a stabilised life. I believe that seeking a shift has some positive influences on life since experiencing variation is an essential factor in the modern world to succeed and be skilled in various genres.
4.5
band
In some countries, more and more people are becoming interested in finding out about the history of the house or building they live in. What are the reasons for this? How can people research this? Give reasons for your answer and include any relevant examples from your own knowledge or experience. Write at least 250 words
There is an increasing number of people who interested in excavating the history of the house or building in where they live. I think people doing that because they have the cognitive to protect the historical value of the buildings and the sense of connection that people felt within the exploration. In order to research the history of them, people can gather the knowledges and memories that elder citizens around them have and go to the libraries in their cities.
7.5
band
It will be better for both society and individuals is driverless cars - cars can drive themselves- become more widely used. To what extent do you agree or disagree?
It is often believed that driverless cars should be encouraged, for they could offer more benefits to society and individuals. I partially support this view, for they lead to a rise in safety regardless of the fact that they can deprive many drivers of a sense of excitement.
5.5
band
Some people think that competition at work, at school in daily life is a good thing. Others believe that we should try to cooperate more, rather than competing against each other.
In today's society,with the evolving social landscape,some argue that competition plays a key role in people's lives, while others contend that cooperation can lead to more benefits. Therefore, this essay will explore both viewpoints and I believe that competition contributes to significant advantages than cooperation.
5
band
Some people believe that watching television is bad for children. Other people believe that watching television is educational for children. Which opinion do you agree with and why?
According to some people, watching TV programs is hurtful for young kids, on the other hand, some people claim that there are some benefits of watching television for children in terms of education. I strongly agree with the idea that it has some disadvantages to children's habits of watching TV, since it is so harmful for their eyes to look at the screens for a long time and they can accept wrong ideas and lessons from TV as nowadays there are a number of telecasts which is not suitable for the young generation.

some people believe that women should play an equal role as men in a country police force or military force ,such as army ,while others think women are not suitable for these kinds of jobs

Fully explain your ideas

Essentional vocabulary list for IELTS Writing 7+

It will be better for both society and individuals is driverless cars - cars can drive themselves- become more widely used. To what extent do you agree or disagree?

Some people think that competition at work, at school in daily life is a good thing. Others believe that we should try to cooperate more, rather than competing against each other.

Some people believe that watching television is bad for children. Other people believe that watching television is educational for children. Which opinion do you agree with and why?