A persons worth nowadays seems to be judged according to social status and material possessions. Old-fashioned values, such as honor, kindness and trust, no longer seem important.

#persons #status #possessions #values #honor #kindness #trust

Amenities tend to

a symbolic gestures

Correct the article-noun agreement

symbolic gestures

a symbolic gesture

show examples

for a happier

life

in the current time of every individual's

life

. A man is known by his financial status,

Change the punctuation

apply

show examples

meanwhile

Add a comma

,meanwhile

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the factor of nobelium is

also

dependent on materialistic things

which

Correct pronoun usage

apply

show examples

claim

Wrong verb form

claimed

show examples

by someone. In my perspective, ethical

values

and moral codes play a significant role in

Remove the article

apply

show examples

human

life

Firstly

, I'll elaborate

the

Change preposition

on the

show examples

significance of our assets, cash value and so cold glamour-based social circle. People are more into prevent their selves by displaying their money, and property which could be inherited by their

their

Remove the redundancy

apply

show examples

ancestors.

Moreover

, our new generation

indulge

Change the verb form

indulges

show examples

to follow many media-based iconic

personality

Change to a plural noun

personalities

show examples

who

securing

Wrong verb form

secure

show examples

the

Correct article usage

apply

show examples

fame on the base of their luxurious big villas, expensive sports cars and precious eye-catching jewellery wear. Even they have no manners about how to talk with elders and younger as well as they are

also

unaware of moral

values

. On the flip side, people are struggling to get a prominent person in their society while they lost gold in search of diamonds. Love, kindness, and respect are those

values

which make a human body

Change preposition

apply

show examples

a vital person, but ,

unfortunately

Add a comma

,unfortunately

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society left behind all of these habits for just being an icon of their group. Parents should flourish their children in an environment of old-fashioned

values

where they grow up as

an innocent human beings

Correct the article-noun agreement

innocent human beings

an innocent human being

show examples

. For ,instance our grandparents always taught us to give respect our elders whilst showing love for

Correct pronoun usage

our younger

show examples

younger

Correct pronoun usage

onesyounger

show examples

In addition

, we should never forget to follow

this

path

otherwise

we will be lost our traditional ethical

values

. In conclusion,

Change the capitalization

show examples

firmly stand with

this

stance, old-fashioned

values

are more important than our wealth. ,

Nonetheless

Add a comma

,Nonetheless

show examples

we cannot ignore the significance of material things. The appropriate way of living a balanced

life

is to manage both of them.

Submitted by muhammadhamzafaazal on Thu Oct 20 2022

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Support ideas with relevant, specific examples

Examples make your writing easier to understand by illustrating points more effectively.

Examples, if used properly, not only help you get higher marks for ‘Task Response’ but also for ‘Coherence’.

When giving examples it is best to put them after your main idea or topic sentence. They can be used in the middle of supporting sentences or they can be used to start a new sentence. There is no rule for where exactly to give examples in essays, logically they would come after your main idea/topic sentence or just after a supporting sentence.

Linking words for giving examples:

for example
for instance
to illustrate this
to give a clear example
such as
namely
to illustrate
take, for example

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7Linking words
meeting the goal of 7 or more
2Word repetition
meeting the goal of 3 or fewer
19Grammar mistakes
 

4 paragraphs

299 words

0123456789.0505

Overall Band Score

Coherence and Cohesion: 6.0

Logical structure

Introduction & conclusion present

Supported main points

Accurate linking words

Variety in linking words

Lexical resource: 4.0

Varied vocabulary

Accurate spelling & word formation

Grammatical Range: 4.0

Mix of complex & simple sentences

Clear and correct grammar

Task Achievement: 5.0

Complete response

7.5

Clear & comprehensive ideas

Relevant & specific examples

Appropriate word count

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A persons worth nowadays seems to be judged according to social status and material possessions. Old-fashioned values, such as honor, kindness and trust, no longer seem important.

Support ideas with relevant, specific examples

Essentional vocabulary list for IELTS Writing 7+

You have ordered a product on a website and received a different product. Write a letter the company. Write a letter

The government has the duty to ensure that its citizens have a healthy diet, while others believe this is individuals’ responsibility. Discuss both views and give your opinion.

Some people say that the best way to improve public health is by increasing the number of sports facilities. Others, however, say that this would have little effect on public health and that other measures are required. Discuss both these views and give your own opinion.

It is sad that life is becoming increasingly stressful for most people. What is the reason of this phenomenon and how could this problem be solved?

In many parts of the world, people rely on private cars for transportation. In what ways does reliance on private cars affect the way we live? Do the effects tend to be positive or negative?