Do you think playing game could bring more harms and benefies
It is true that in the modern world
device
are the main past-time of people. In my view, playing entertainment is beneficial and harmful for the players, the impending essay will discuss the pros and cons of it with a logical conclusion.
There are multiple reasons why gaming is helpful for the community. Fix the agreement mistake
devices
To begin
with, it could contribute players to not being lonely because they can spend their time with it. For example
, the Times has announced that almost 68% of children spend their time playing Fifa
or action gambits when they feel lonely. Correct your spelling
FIFA
Furthermore
, gamers are more problem solvers compared to others this
is because they think logically. As a result
, fast thinking leads them to find solutions as fast as possible, this
has been evidenced by the University of Toronto that almost 80% of leaders in classes are students that
already have experience in online betting.
Correct pronoun usage
who
On the other hand
, spending an excess of time playing electronic ruse could result in a significant increase in the level of risk of being overweight due to
the fact it causes a sedentary life, As a consequence
, those who sat
in front of computers gain more weight. Wrong verb form
sit
Moreover
, it also
increases the chance of Mental health due to
playing violent games which in turn leads to them being more aggressive in society. For instance
,in A survey by Times just in ,2018 almost 444 students were suspended from school in Ajax Canada because of fighting as they learned from video games.
In conclusion, it is true that playing video games has drawbacks and benefits sides. while
increasing the risk of obesity and mental problem
are the cons of it, issue-solving and thinking logically are the pros of it.Fix the agreement mistake
problems
Submitted by suhailjallalzadah on
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task response
Your essay discusses both the benefits and drawbacks of playing video games, supporting each point with relevant examples. However, the introduction and conclusion could be more explicit in summarizing the main points.
coherence and cohesion
Your essay demonstrates a reasonable logical structure, with clearly presented main points supported by examples. However, the introduction and conclusion could be more explicit in summarizing the main points.
