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Writing Samples
Band 7

Some people think that having a set retirement age (e.g. 65 years) for everybody, regardless of occupation is unfair. They believe that certain workers deserve to retire and receive a pension at an earlier age. Do you agree or disagree? Which type of workers do you think should benefit from early retirement?

#people #retirement #age #e #g #years #everybody #occupation #workers #pension #type #benefit
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Retirement
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age
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 is when every working individual takes a break from
work
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 and gets paid for the services they have done for their association. Some sociologists believe that having a fixed
retirement
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age
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 for everybody, irrespective of occupation, is unfair, and certain
workers
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 should be allowed to retire early. I agree with
this
Linking Words
 argument and will indicate my view with examples.
To begin
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 with, people tend to become weak as they grow older. Different occupations demand different kinds of skills. Certain
workers
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 need physical strength to perform their duties.
This
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 physical strength and stamina reduce with
age
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. While other professions, like office
work
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, demand less physical energy.
Hence
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,
workers
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 whose
work
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 requires more physical energy need to be given early
retirement
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.
This
Linking Words
 can be illustrated by the
workers
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 in the coal mine whose
work
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 demands strength and stamina, which deteriorates as they grow older.
However
Linking Words
,
workers
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 sitting in a library do not need to have much physical power.
Additionally
Linking Words
, people who have served a lot for a
company
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 for a longer duration could be given early
retirement
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. Certain
workers
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 who have dedicated most of their life working for a
company
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 should be allowed to reap the benefits of
retirement
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 at an early
age
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.
For instance
Linking Words
, my father started working for a
company
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 in India at 20. He was allowed to retire early by considering his
work
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 tenure in the
company
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. In conclusion, having a typical
retirement
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age
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 for all
workers
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 is unfair.
Workers
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 whose
work
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 demands more physical energy and who have served their
company
Use synonyms
 longer should be allowed to retire early.
Submitted by pabhi163 on

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Use cohesive linking words accurately and appropriately

Linking words are very important in your essay.

To score effectively on your IELTS exam, you should make an effort to implement short concise sentences coupled with linking words.

Almost every sentence in your essay should have a linking word of some sort.

In fact, the only sentences that can omit linking words are your background sentence and thesis.

Linking word examples:

  • firstly
  • secondly
  • thirdly
  • in additional
  • moreover
  • also
  • for example
  • for instance
  • therefore
  • however
  • although
  • even though
  • despite

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