Some people say History is one of the most important school subjects. Other people think that, in today’s world, subjects like Science and Technology are more important than History. Discuss both views and give your own opinion.

#people #history #school #subjects #today’s #world #science #technology

All over the

world

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,world

show examples

different groups of people consider

that

Correct word choice

apply

show examples

History

is one of the most valuable school

subject

Change to a plural noun

subjects

show examples

However

on the other

hand

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,hand

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others opine that

nowdays

Correct the word

nowadays

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in the modern

world

Technology

and

Science

subjects

are more crucial and useful than

History

subject

. So, in

this

essay

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,essay

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I will discuss both views and explain my own opinion. In fact, in my

opinion

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,opinion

show examples

History

very

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a very

show examples

vital

subject

for every pupil at school, since every person should know past

events

and situations, past awful wars in the

world

Thus

, if

person

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a person

show examples

learn

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learns

show examples

past

Change preposition

from past

show examples

events

, he will not make mistakes in the future.

In addition

, we should know important historical

events

for instance

about 2nd

World

War. Knowing about past different wars, we can appreciate our present peaceful

world

Thus

, because-of

History

subject

, every pupil can appreciate and

Fix the infinitive

apply

show examples

value

own

Correct pronoun usage

their own

his own

her own

show examples

Correct your spelling

peaceful

peacful

Correct your spelling

peaceful

life.

On the other hand

Science

and

Technology

subjects

are

also

essential

subjects

at school. In fact,

Science

and

Technology

develop logical and critical skills,

Correct word choice

and help

show examples

help

Wrong verb form

helping

show examples

to learn deeper different structures and creations.

Moreover

, in our modern

world

different Technologies develop day by day,

Science

also

discover

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discovers

show examples

many new things and

knowledges

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knowledge

pieces of knowledge

bits of knowledge

show examples

Furthermore

, both

subjects

are very important in our modern

world

. To give

illustration

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an illustration

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, all people use different types of technologies

such

as mobile phones, computers, gadgets,

Internet

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the Internet

show examples

and so on.

In addition

because-of

Correct your spelling

because of

show examples

Science

we have modern and vital medicines, which save people's lives. In conclusion,

History

subject

gives us knowledge of different past

events

and

thus

, we appreciate our

Correct your spelling

peaceful

peacful

Correct your spelling

peaceful

life.

On the other hand

Technology

and

Science

subjects

give us modern and useful gadgets,

Correct word choice

and knowledges

show examples

knowledges

Change the wording

knowledge

pieces of knowledge

bits of knowledge

show examples

of scientific

informations

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information

pieces of information

show examples

thus

these both

subjects

discover for us very useful new

knowledges

Change the wording

knowledge

pieces of knowledge

bits of knowledge

show examples

Submitted by Allazhar on Sat Oct 22 2022

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10Linking words
meeting the goal of 7 or more
7Word repetition
meeting the goal of 3 or fewer
28Grammar mistakes
 

4 paragraphs

284 words

5.50

Overall Band Score

Coherence and Cohesion: 4.0

Logical structure

Introduction & conclusion present

Supported main points

Accurate linking words

Variety in linking words

Lexical resource: 4.0

Varied vocabulary

Accurate spelling & word formation

Grammatical Range: 4.0

Mix of complex & simple sentences

Clear and correct grammar

Task Achievement: 9.0

Complete response

Clear & comprehensive ideas

Relevant & specific examples

Appropriate word count

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Topic Vocabulary:

Cultural heritage
Historical perspective
Analytical skills
Contextual understanding
Technological advancements
STEM (Science, Technology, Engineering, Mathematics)
Innovation
Interdisciplinary
Job market
Climate crisis
Cultural identity
Critical thinking
Humanities
Contemporary issues
Integration
Tech-savvy

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