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Writing Samples
Band 4.5

In some countries, health care and education are only partially funded by the government. Some people argue that the government should be responsible for covering the full cost of these services. Do you support or oppose the opinion? Explain your position.

#countries #health #care #education #government #people #cost #services #support #position
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Medical problems and schooling are two hot topics for major cities. Some
country’s
Fix the agreement mistake
countries’
show examples
 leaders pay for
residents
’ physical well-being and tuition
fees
 unfully.
To
Change preposition
Me
show examples
me
Correct pronoun usage
apply
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, I totally support that decision because it is related to
residents
’ awareness. In my opinion, schooling should be responsible
by
Change preposition
for
show examples
 students partially because of human motivation. As an international student in Canada, I know that children are covered fully until they get into colleges or universities. The Canadian Government considers children under 18
are
Unnecessary verb
apply
show examples
not able to work to pay for their life. After graduation, to study at a higher level,
majority
Add an article
the majority
show examples
 are still working and studying parallelly for school
fees
. Some students just focus on hunting scholarships
instead
 of paying a giant number, so they spend much time achieving their goals.
Tution
Correct your spelling
Tuition
fees
 are considered as a personal motivation for most people who want to step up
further
 positions.
Besides
, if
the
Correct article usage
apply
show examples
health care is covered totally,
residents
 will not take care of themselves properly. According to researchers, cities that are covered fully in physical well-being have
the
Correct article usage
a
show examples
 larger
residents
Correct quantifier usage
number of residents
show examples
 who are addicted to drugs. Major people don’t usually pay attention to their body condition when they know their medical services are completely paid for. Vietnamese slang said that “As you are scared of sickness, try not to be sick”. But at some points, if the Government doesn't cover any health
fees
,
residents
 may not want to go check up
their
Change preposition
on their
show examples
 bodies because they are concerned about paying a big amount. In conclusion, If
residents
 get paid totally, people may be reckless with their bodies’ conditions and learning process,
also
 lacking government funds. I believe physical well-being and studying are
main
Correct article usage
the main
show examples
 problems that the country’s leaders should support
residents
 partially.
Submitted by bimlee1608 on

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To get an excellent score in the IELTS Task 2 writing section, one of the easiest and most effective tips is structuring your writing in the most solid format. A great argument essay structure may be divided to four paragraphs, in which comprises of four sentences (excluding the conclusion paragraph, which comprises of three sentences).

For we to consider an essay structure a great one, it should be looking like this:

  • Paragraph 1 - Introduction
    • Sentence 1 - Background statement
    • Sentence 2 - Detailed background statement
    • Sentence 3 - Thesis
    • Sentence 4 - Outline sentence
  • Paragraph 2 - First supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 3 - Second supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 4 - Conclusion
    • Sentence 1 - Summary
    • Sentence 2 - Restatement of thesis
    • Sentence 3 - Prediction or recommendation

Our recommended essay structure above comprises of fifteen (15) sentences, which will make your essay approximately 250 to 275 words.

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