Some people believe that violence on television and in computer games has a damaging effect on the society. Others deny that these factors have any significant influence on people's behaviour. What is your opinion?

#people #violence #television #computer #games #effect #society #factors #influence #behaviour

Why

games

should be considered dangerous? Most

Change preposition

apply

show examples

adult

Add an article

the adult

show examples

people

are those who are against computer

games

or violence on television, in spite of young

people

are

Wrong verb form

being

show examples

used to

this

type of technology,

but

Correct word choice

apply

show examples

not all is good.

First

, starting with

that

Change the determiner

that adult

those adults

show examples

adults

used to play in a different way,

comparing

Wrong verb form

compared

show examples

with us, two decades ago there are no cellphones, even around 80's started appearing the

first

televisions, that's why

the

Correct article usage

apply

show examples

adults

used to play traditional

games

Correct quantifier usage

such as

show examples

marbles, with the "trompo" and they played hide and seek. So, when things advanced fast they couldn't understand many things, but they tried to adapt themselves, there's the problem

Remove the comma

apply

show examples

since

Correct word choice

that

show examples

young

people

understand changes faster than

adults

Furthermore

, companies, which develop apps or programs, took advantage of the situation advancing faster than

the

Change preposition

in the

show examples

past years, until appeared the smartphone, with a touch screen, in order to

games

and programs

had

Unnecessary verb

apply

show examples

more possibilities talking about

generate

Change the verb form

generating

show examples

more interactive

games

. That's how young

people

were hooked and started the discussion, due to parents controlled more

them

Correct pronoun usage

apply

show examples

and

saw

Wrong verb form

seeing

show examples

the type of

games

that they play, In conclusion, the game

don't

Change the verb form

doesn't

show examples

define

the

Correct article usage

apply

show examples

children

Change noun form

children's

show examples

or young man

behavior

Change the spelling

behaviour

show examples

, because as we are humans we know how

difference

Replace the word

different

show examples

reality from virtual

games

and

also

we can think

what

Change preposition

about what

show examples

is correct or incorrect, so

adults

emphasize when some children have mental problems thinking that the game was the reason, but that's not true.

Submitted by ismael.222sr on Tue Oct 25 2022

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Fully explain your ideas

To get an excellent score in the IELTS Task 2 writing section, one of the easiest and most effective tips is structuring your writing in the most solid format. A great argument essay structure may be divided to four paragraphs, in which comprises of four sentences (excluding the conclusion paragraph, which comprises of three sentences).

For we to consider an essay structure a great one, it should be looking like this:

Paragraph 1 - Introduction

Sentence 1 - Background statement
Sentence 2 - Detailed background statement
Sentence 3 - Thesis
Sentence 4 - Outline sentence

Paragraph 2 - First supporting paragraph

Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
Sentence 2 - Example
Sentence 3 - Discussion
Sentence 4 - Conclusion

Paragraph 3 - Second supporting paragraph

Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
Sentence 2 - Example
Sentence 3 - Discussion
Sentence 4 - Conclusion

Paragraph 4 - Conclusion

Sentence 1 - Summary
Sentence 2 - Restatement of thesis
Sentence 3 - Prediction or recommendation

Our recommended essay structure above comprises of fifteen (15) sentences, which will make your essay approximately 250 to 275 words.

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4Linking words
meeting the goal of 7 or more
3Word repetition
meeting the goal of 3 or fewer
21Grammar mistakes
 

4 paragraphs

236 words

<4

Overall Band Score

Coherence and Cohesion: 4.0

Logical structure

Introduction & conclusion present

Supported main points

Accurate linking words

Variety in linking words

Lexical resource: 4.0

Varied vocabulary

Accurate spelling & word formation

Grammatical Range: 4.0

Mix of complex & simple sentences

Clear and correct grammar

Task Achievement: 4.0

Complete response

Clear & comprehensive ideas

Relevant & specific examples

Appropriate word count

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Topic Vocabulary:

pivotal
desensitize
catalyst
predisposed
harmless outlet
distinguish
controlled environments
empirical research
minimal or no direct correlation
socio-economic status
predisposition

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Some people believe that violence on television and in computer games has a damaging effect on the society. Others deny that these factors have any significant influence on people's behaviour. What is your opinion?

Fully explain your ideas

Many different countries have most shops and products as the same. Some consider it a positive development, whereas others consider it negative. Discuss both views and give your opinion.

Some believe that people today have no interest in maintaining the traditional culture of their country. Others believe that it is still important to people that we preserve a traditional way of life. Discuss both these views and give your own opinion.

Social media has replaced the traditional methods of communication, and people use more and more social media to communicate, and to follow news and events. Do the advantages outweigh the disadvantages

Learning English at school is often seen as more important than local languages.If these are not taught, many are at risk of dying out. In your opinion, is it important for everyone to learn English? Should we try to ensure the survival of local languages and, if so, how?