IELTS Writing Correction Service
Writing Samples
Band 5

Many people assume that the goal of every country should be to produce more materials and goods. To what extent do you agree or disagree that constantly increasing production is an appropriate goal?

#people #country #materials #goods #production
✨ Do you want to improve your IELTS writing?
Some think that the main objective of the countries should be the
increment
 of
production
 of
materials
 and
goods
. I partially disagree that the constant
increment
 in
production
 is an
Correct your spelling
appropriate
appropiate
Correct your spelling
appropriate
 goal
Correct your spelling
because
becuase
Correct your spelling
because
 it has some negative consequences. The idea of increasing constantly the
production
 of
materials
 and
goods
 is based on the globalization process where each export and import
goods
Change preposition
of goods
show examples
 and
products
,
it
Correct pronoun usage
apply
show examples
is part of
the
Correct article usage
apply
show examples
globalise
Change the form of the verb
globalised
show examples
 commerce.
However
, it is well-known that
this
practise
Correct your spelling
practice
show examples
represent
Correct subject-verb agreement
represents
show examples
 negative aspects for the domestic
economic
Replace the word
economy
show examples
 and for the worldwide environment.
For instance
, in the free trade relationships between
Correct your spelling
countries
coutries
Correct your spelling
countries
, they negotiate the interchange of
products
,
nontheless
Correct your spelling
nonetheless
, in many times those trades produce a surplus or contrary a lack of
products
 that
increment
 the inflation or deflation of prices as a consequence of the invisible hand of Adams Smith that represent the
offre
Correct your spelling
offer
office
 and demand.
Correct your spelling
Additionally
Addiotionally
Correct your spelling
Additionally
, the extraction of some natural resources
such
 as gold, coal and crude are affecting drastically our planet. Consequences
such
 as global warming, and
huge
Add an article
a huge
the huge
show examples
 amount of carbon dioxide in the atmosphere are depleting the ozone layer.
Therefore
, these practices of
production
 should be executed with the purpose of
fullfil
Correct your spelling
fulfil
 the needs of
the
Correct article usage
apply
show examples
society
instead
 of
make
Change the form of the verb
making
show examples
 of
this
 a profitable source.
For instance
, Natural resources should be only extracted to produce energy rather than consumed
products
such
Change preposition
as jewelry
show examples
jewelry
Change the spelling
jewellery
show examples
 and so on. if we do not control our
production
 of
materials
 and
goods
, some natural disasters and social issues
such
 as poverty and hunger will keep affecting human beings negatively. In
Correct your spelling
conclusion
conclucion
Correct your spelling
conclusion
,
although
 some people consider that each country should
increment
 its
production
 of raw
materials
 and
products
 as
a
Change the article
the
show examples
 main goal, I strongly believe that it is crucial to
Correct your spelling
establish
stablish
Correct your spelling
establish
 a balance between
this
 objective and others that affect our ecosystem and equity.
Submitted by razab5469 on

Unauthorized use and/or duplication of this material without express and written permission from this site’s author and/or owner is strictly prohibited. Excerpts and links may be used, provided that full and clear credit is given to Writing9 with appropriate and specific direction to the original content.

Include an introduction and conclusion

A conclusion is essential for IELTS writing task 2. It is more important than most people realise. You will be penalised for missing a conclusion in your IELTS essay.

The easiest paragraph to write in an essay is the conclusion paragraph. This is because the paragraph mostly contains information that has already been presented in the essay – it is just the repetition of some information written in the introduction paragraph and supporting paragraphs.

The conclusion paragraph only has 3 sentences:

  • Summary
  • Restatement of thesis
  • Prediction or recommendation

Example:

To summarize, a robotic teacher does not have the necessary disciple to properly give instructions to students and actually works to retard the ability of a student to comprehend new lessons. Therefore, it is clear that the idea of running a classroom completely by a machine cannot be supported. After thorough analysis on this subject, it is predicted that the adverse effects of the debate over technology-driven teaching will always be greater than the positive effects, and because of this, classroom teachers will never be substituted for technology.

Start your conclusion with a linking phrase. Here are some examples:

  • In conclusion
  • To conclude
  • To summarize
  • Finally
  • In a nutshell
  • In general

Discover more tips in The Ultimate Guide to Get a Target Band Score of 7+ »— a book that's free for 🚀 Premium users.

What to do next:
Look at other essays: