IELTS Writing Correction Service
Writing Samples
Band 4

Some people like to work in a company which offers high salary. Some others think that it is good to work in a company which offers a good working atmosphere. What is your opinion? Discuss both the views with examples.

Some masses adore working in an organisation which
provided
Wrong verb form
provides
show examples
 an ample amount of income
but
Punctuation problem
, but
show examples
further
Linking Words
 believe that the
environment
Use synonyms
 of the industry is a better choice. In my
,
Punctuation problem
apply
show examples
thoughts
Punctuation problem
thoughts,
show examples
 I think the working
environment
Use synonyms
 is much preferable to a good
salary
Use synonyms
.
This
Linking Words
 essay discusses both views with valid examples.
To
Linking Words
Begin
Fix capitalization
begin
show examples
 with, handsome pay will offer a better lifestyle and feel. Individuals can get desirable things in his/her life. But, a good
salary
Use synonyms
 can not be able to provide peace of mind if our surroundings are not positive.
In addition
Linking Words
 to that, the Experience of
work
Use synonyms
 will become worse.
For example
Linking Words
, if someone
facing
Verb problem
is facing
show examples
 harassment by a senior manager
Linking Words
then
Punctuation problem
, then
show examples
 it is impossible to stay and
work
Use synonyms
 in a company.
Although
Linking Words
,
Punctuation problem
apply
show examples
 some employees
work
Use synonyms
 in
such
Linking Words
 conditions knowing the consequences, after some time they suffer from tension and stress.
On the other hand
Linking Words
, a better
environment
Use synonyms
 in workplaces makes
work
Use synonyms
 easy and peaceful. It
also
Linking Words
 increases the quality of
work
Use synonyms
.
Also
Linking Words
, if someone feels stuck in a project or
Use synonyms
work
Punctuation problem
work,
show examples
then
Linking Words
 a senior will help with their experience and knowledge
which
Punctuation problem
, which
show examples
also
Linking Words
 increases the skills of an individual person.
For example
Linking Words
, a study shows that if an employee works in calm
conditions
Punctuation problem
conditions,
show examples
then
Linking Words
 new skills are
inherited
Verb problem
learned
show examples
 from their mind.
Also
Linking Words
, these people become much more successful in future with an increment in
salary
Use synonyms
 and post.
To conclude
Linking Words
,
It
Fix capitalization
it
show examples
 is true
a
Correct word choice
that a
show examples
higher
salary
Use synonyms
 provides
good
Correct article usage
a good
show examples
 life
but
Punctuation problem
, but
show examples
 if someone wants consistency in a
career
Punctuation problem
career,
show examples
then
Linking Words
 the calm
environment
Use synonyms
 can give both a better future and ample income.

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task response
Improve how you answer the task. State a clear view in the first paragraph and keep it in the end. Talk about both sides with enough detail and real examples.
coherence cohesion
Make ideas flow well. Use clear link words to show order. Start each paragraph with a main idea sentence and end with a short wrap up.
grammar
Check grammar and use short, simple sentences. Fix wrong words and odd phrases. Use common words and simple form to be easy to read.
content
The writer shows a view and tries to compare two sides.
structure
There is a clear attempt to state a position and give an opinion.
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