IELTS Writing Correction Service
Writing Samples
Band 4.5

Every country should have a free health service, even if this means that the latest medical treatments may not be available through the service because they are too expensive. To what extent do you agree or disagree?

#country #health #service #treatments
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Nowadays, the living standards of urban
society
Use synonyms
 have been steadily increasing over the
last
Linking Words
 few decades.
However
Linking Words
, when it comes to the most fundamental social welfare,
the
Correct article usage
apply
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complimentary
healthcare
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, remains
as
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apply
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a frequently debated issue. For the sake of the
aging
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ageing
show examples
 demographics and the expanding gap between rich and poor, I believe it is crucial for the
government
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 to do its part to ensure that every individual is able to have access to that
healthcare
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 at no extra cost. According to
the
Correct article usage
apply
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recent
demographics
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demographic
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 statistics, the population of seniors has
been
Unnecessary verb
apply
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far outnumbered that of youngsters in almost every major country. Given
this
Linking Words
 information, the wellbeings of seniors represent the benefit of the whole
society
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. Surely there are moral obligations for the
government
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 to provide them with a satisfactory public
healthcare
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 program in their twilight years, for all the contributions they have made to the development of the country. Regardless of that, due to the lack of
labor
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labour
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 force in an
aging
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ageing
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society
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, elder
people
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 could extend their
career
Fix the agreement mistake
careers
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 which in turn benefits the
government
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 on that issue; only if they can stay healthy, which could be achieved with the free public
healthcare
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 in place. To consider it from another angle, though the economy has been constantly booming in the past few years, the total fortune created has not been distributed evenly. It is the
government
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's role to narrow the gap between rich and poor
people
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. While the upper class can lie down and enjoy the ocean view from their beach villas, normal
people
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 may not be able to afford their
healthcare
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. The
government
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 must step in to make sure to meet everyone’s most basic needs by putting in place a sound
healthcare
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 system. Of
course
Add a comma
,course
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 it is not always a perfect picture.
People
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 with
an
Correct article usage
the
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 opposite opinion are concerned that a complimentary
healthcare
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 program would impede the application of most cutting-edge medical innovations due to their extravagant cost.
Nevertheless
Linking Words
, it’s suggested that there could be a middle ground where patients who can afford the technology will have
their
Change the word
the
show examples
 option to get the treatment by paying out of their own pocket. In a nutshell, a free-to-all public
healthcare
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 program is the best prescription for modern
society
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, the positive effects it can bring outweigh all other concerns. Due to its ability to improve senior care and reduce the effects of
wage
Add an article
the wage
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 gap, free-for-all
healthcare
Use synonyms
 can be considered to be a good system for any country to implement.
Submitted by wattt10 on

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Fully explain your ideas

To get an excellent score in the IELTS Task 2 writing section, one of the easiest and most effective tips is structuring your writing in the most solid format. A great argument essay structure may be divided to four paragraphs, in which comprises of four sentences (excluding the conclusion paragraph, which comprises of three sentences).

For we to consider an essay structure a great one, it should be looking like this:

  • Paragraph 1 - Introduction
    • Sentence 1 - Background statement
    • Sentence 2 - Detailed background statement
    • Sentence 3 - Thesis
    • Sentence 4 - Outline sentence
  • Paragraph 2 - First supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 3 - Second supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 4 - Conclusion
    • Sentence 1 - Summary
    • Sentence 2 - Restatement of thesis
    • Sentence 3 - Prediction or recommendation

Our recommended essay structure above comprises of fifteen (15) sentences, which will make your essay approximately 250 to 275 words.

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