IELTS Writing Correction Service /
Writing Samples /
Band 5

Air travel causes environmental pollution, so many people believe that there should be an increase in the price of air tickets in order to reduce air traffic. Do you agree or disagree?

#air #travel #pollution #people #price #tickets #traffic
Environmental degradation is taking place owing to
pollution
. Some proportion of
masses
Correct article usage
the masses
show examples
assert
Change the verb form
asserts
show examples
 that
,
Remove the comma
apply
show examples
air
travel
 is
attributing
Wrong verb form
attributed
show examples
 to atmospheric
pollution
 so, in order to overcome
with
Change preposition
apply
show examples
this
 issue the
price
 of
air
tickets
 should be soared which will result in limiting
air
 traffic. I strongly disagree with
this
 statement and my
Correct your spelling
viewpoints
show examples
view points
Correct your spelling
viewpoints
show examples
 will be discussed in subsequent paragraphs. To commence with, most
of
Change preposition
apply
show examples
the
people
 use
airline
Fix the agreement mistake
airlines
show examples
 for travelling internationally not for
commting
Correct your spelling
commuting
commenting
 within the country. If the
price
 of
air
ticket
Fix the agreement mistake
tickets
show examples
 increases it will
further
 become costly for
people
. To clarify
it
Correct pronoun usage
apply
show examples
, if an individual is travelling
to
Change preposition
apply
show examples
abroad for any meeting for commercial
purpose
Fix the agreement mistake
purposes
show examples
 it is obvious that the person can not go via roadways or railways so the individual must have to
travel
 by aeroplane only and if the cost of
air
Correct article usage
an air
show examples
 ticket went up the individual could bear
loss
Add an article
the loss
show examples
.
Moreover
, by commuting
through
Change preposition
by
show examples
 aeroplane
people
 can reach on time on their desired place. To
Correct your spelling
exemplify
examplify
Correct your spelling
exemplify
, it takes only an hour to
travel
 from Delhi to Mumbai via
airlines
Fix the agreement mistake
airline
show examples
on
Add the comma(s)
,on
show examples
 the other hand, travelling
with
Change preposition
by
show examples
trains
Fix the agreement mistake
train
show examples
it
Correct pronoun usage
apply
show examples
could take two days to reach
at
Remove the preposition
apply
show examples
the
Correct article usage
apply
show examples
destiny
Replace the word
destination
show examples
.
Thus
, the cost of
air
tickets
 should not be inclined as it benefits a lot to
people
 by saving their time and reaching
at
Change preposition
apply
show examples
their desired location without much expenditure.
Argumenting
Correct your spelling
Arguments
further
,aeroplanes are the not only
one
Correct pronoun usage
apply
show examples
source of
pollution
Correct your spelling
which
show examples
wich
Correct your spelling
which
show examples
 is causing
deterioration
Correct article usage
the deterioration
show examples
 of
environment
Add an article
the environment
show examples
. there
some
Add a missing verb
are some
show examples
 other major sources as well so, why
to
Fix the infinitive
apply
show examples
blame
air
travel
 only for adverse implications? There are other means of transport
also
 which proliferates
air
 pollutants and indeed
people
 are opting
them
Change preposition
for them
show examples
 much over
air
travel
. An article published in New York Times stated that
,
Remove the comma
apply
show examples
pollution
at
Change preposition
in
show examples
 their country with buses is 43% whereas, through
airline
Fix the agreement mistake
airlines
show examples
 is 20%,
that
Correct pronoun usage
which
show examples
 is twice less than
pollution
 caused by buses.
Hence
, the cost of
air
tickets
 should not be increased. To recapitulate,
people
 prefer aeroplanes only for voyaging overseas, not for domestic
purpose
Fix the agreement mistake
purposes
show examples
 which do not expel much
pollution
.
Correct your spelling
In fact
Infact
Correct your spelling
In fact
,
air
travel
 saves the time of
people
 by making them reach
timely
Correct pronoun usage
their timely
show examples
 and comfortably so, from my perspective
price
Correct article usage
the price
show examples
 of
air
tickets
 should not be increased because there are other sources of
air
pollution
also
 and increasing the
price
 of
ticket
Correct article usage
a ticket
show examples
 of
aeroplane
Add an article
an aeroplane
show examples
 only does not make sense.
Submitted by Harmeet Singh Khera on

Unauthorized use and/or duplication of this material without express and written permission from this site’s author and/or owner is strictly prohibited. Excerpts and links may be used, provided that full and clear credit is given to Writing9 with appropriate and specific direction to the original content.

Include an introduction and conclusion

A conclusion is essential for IELTS writing task 2. It is more important than most people realise. You will be penalised for missing a conclusion in your IELTS essay.

The easiest paragraph to write in an essay is the conclusion paragraph. This is because the paragraph mostly contains information that has already been presented in the essay – it is just the repetition of some information written in the introduction paragraph and supporting paragraphs.

The conclusion paragraph only has 3 sentences:

  • Summary
  • Restatement of thesis
  • Prediction or recommendation

Example:

To summarize, a robotic teacher does not have the necessary disciple to properly give instructions to students and actually works to retard the ability of a student to comprehend new lessons. Therefore, it is clear that the idea of running a classroom completely by a machine cannot be supported. After thorough analysis on this subject, it is predicted that the adverse effects of the debate over technology-driven teaching will always be greater than the positive effects, and because of this, classroom teachers will never be substituted for technology.

Start your conclusion with a linking phrase. Here are some examples:

  • In conclusion
  • To conclude
  • To summarize
  • Finally
  • In a nutshell
  • In general

Discover more tips in The Ultimate Guide to Get a Target Band Score of 7+ »— a book that's free for 🚀 Premium users.

Essentional vocabulary list for IELTS Writing 7+

Learn how to write high-scoring essays with powerful words.
Download Free PDF and start improving you writing skills today!
Topic Vocabulary:
  • environmental pollution
  • deterrent
  • aviation technologies
  • disproportionately affect
  • global carbon tax
  • alternative solutions
  • tourism-dependent economies
  • cleaner fuels
  • efficient flight paths
  • carbon emissions
What to do next:
Look at other essays: