IELTS Writing Correction Service
Writing Samples
Band 2.5

Many people are using credit cards or loans to run up huge personal debts that they may be unable to repay. It should, therefore, be made more difficult for individuals to borrow large amounts of money. What are your opinions on this? Give reasons for your answer and include any relevant example from your knowledge or experience.

#people #credit #cards #loans #debts #individuals #amounts #money
✨ Do you want to improve your IELTS writing?
The bar chart shows the percentage of total spending of households from 2012 to 2016 in the United
states
Change the capitalization
States
show examples
. Overall, the figure of spending illustrates some variation from one category to another ,where the highest proportion of spending was on entertainment and remained at the highest level over 2016 .
To begin
with
Add a comma
,with
show examples
 in terms of essential spending ,American households spent 20% in 2012 and it decreased by 17 % in 2016 on food .
secondly
 the proportion of spending on housing fell less
3
Change preposition
than 3
show examples
% where
it
Correct pronoun usage
apply
show examples
was 23% to 20 % .As far healthcare increased by 10% in 2012 ,
however
 .the percentage dropped to 7% in 2016 .
In addition
 to
this
 ,expenditure on essential travel sored gradually from 3% to 7%. As far as
non-essential
Correct your spelling
nonessential
show examples
 spending in American households on entertainment significantly grew from 27% it reached to 33% in 2016.
In addition
 to
this
 ,consumer goods climbed over the four years from 12% to 17
%
in 2016.expenditure on non-essential travel slightly declined from 4% in 2012 to 3% in 2016.
Submitted by falenazi14021402 on

Unauthorized use and/or duplication of this material without express and written permission from this site’s author and/or owner is strictly prohibited. Excerpts and links may be used, provided that full and clear credit is given to Writing9 with appropriate and specific direction to the original content.

Fully explain your ideas

To get an excellent score in the IELTS Task 2 writing section, one of the easiest and most effective tips is structuring your writing in the most solid format. A great argument essay structure may be divided to four paragraphs, in which comprises of four sentences (excluding the conclusion paragraph, which comprises of three sentences).

For we to consider an essay structure a great one, it should be looking like this:

  • Paragraph 1 - Introduction
    • Sentence 1 - Background statement
    • Sentence 2 - Detailed background statement
    • Sentence 3 - Thesis
    • Sentence 4 - Outline sentence
  • Paragraph 2 - First supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 3 - Second supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 4 - Conclusion
    • Sentence 1 - Summary
    • Sentence 2 - Restatement of thesis
    • Sentence 3 - Prediction or recommendation

Our recommended essay structure above comprises of fifteen (15) sentences, which will make your essay approximately 250 to 275 words.

Discover more tips in The Ultimate Guide to Get a Target Band Score of 7+ »— a book that's free for 🚀 Premium users.

Topic Vocabulary:
  • financial literacy
  • credit cards
  • loans
  • debts
  • mental health
  • well-being
  • stringent checks
  • balances
  • repaying
  • reckless spending
  • living beyond one's means
  • financial destabilization
  • regulations
  • cap (verb)
  • income
  • financial commitments
  • mandatory financial education
  • financial decisions
What to do next:
Look at other essays: