Many people assume that the goal of every country should be to produce more materials and goods. To what extent do you agree or disagree that constantly increasing production is an appropriate goals?

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Globalization encourages every country to produce more products. Some people may

initially

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believe that more manufacturing should be the ultimate goal. Personally, I do concur with

this

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idea. In the sentences that follow, I will underline my viewpoint and provide pertinent instances. k

To begin

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with, undeveloped nations depend on the production of other

countries

Use synonyms

because most of them do not manufacture enough. When there

was

Wrong verb form

show examples

an emergency

such

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outbreak of plague,

covid

Correct your spelling

COVID-19

19 or any global warning, nations that do not produce enough cannot supply goods or materials for their society.

For instance

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, in the second half of the seventeenth century, foreign vessels were not allowed to dock in Russian ports because of epidemics.

This

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measure causes the incompetence of goods.

Secondly

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, targeting more manufacturing

lead

Correct subject-verb agreement

leads

show examples

to improving the economy.

Moreover

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, Some

countries

Use synonyms

have many resources which include boron, gold and silver mines,

while

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other

countries

Use synonyms

that do not have any reserves have local factories using robots and local labour.In these nations, the number of materials and goods is increased by using regional factories.

For example

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, China, which is the most producing country, has a large part of its recession thanks to its manufacturing.

Therefore

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, China is both developing its economy and reducing its independence from foreign

countries

Use synonyms

To conclude

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, I am definitely convinced that every nation should aim to increase its output of materials and commodities.

Furthermore

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, the government should spend money on investments for production. It is predictable that

countries

Use synonyms

that develop their manufacturing will

also

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develop their economy.

bengisuzeynep7510Fri Oct 28 2022

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task response

Your essay lacks clear and comprehensive ideas, and the examples provided are not entirely relevant to the topic. Pay attention to providing more relevant and specific examples to support your points.

coherence cohesion

Your essay demonstrates a moderate level of coherence and cohesion. Ensure that the logical structure of your essay is well-organized and that your introduction and conclusion effectively present your viewpoint.

13
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meeting the goal of 7 or more
1
Word repetition
meeting the goal of 3 or fewer
3
Grammar mistakes
detected issues

0123456789.0505

Overall Band Score

Coherence and Cohesion: 5.0

Logical structure

Introduction & conclusion present

Supported main points

Accurate linking words

Variety in linking words

Lexical resource: 6.0

Varied vocabulary

Accurate spelling & word formation

Grammatical Range: 6.0

Mix of complex & simple sentences

Clear and correct grammar

Task Achievement: 4.0

Complete response

Clear & comprehensive ideas

Relevant & specific examples

Appropriate word count

4 paragraphs

252 words

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