IELTS Writing Correction Service
Writing Samples
Band 5.5

Big salary is much more important than job satisfaction. Do you agree or disagree

A growing concern in today's society is globalization. To my certain knowledge, a number of
people
Use synonyms
 hold a view that having high wages
jobs
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 is more noticeable than how much
people
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satisfy
Change the form of the verb
satisfied
show examples
 with their careers.
However
Linking Words
, I completely disagree with
this
Linking Words
 opinion and have the opposite idea which is passionate in
workplace
Add an article
the workplace
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 should be
perspected
Correct your spelling
persecuted
 us an important factor while working. Looking at the argument for the view that
job
Use synonyms
satisfaction
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 is much more remarkable than
high
Correct article usage
a high
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 salary
in
Change preposition
apply
show examples
Use synonyms
job
Add an article
the job
a job
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, it is admitted that some of them prove to be quite strong. In
fact
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, the most significant reason is that when
people
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work
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 with their passion, their
work
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 can be completed more perfectly. One strong argument
in
Add the comma(s)
, in this case,
show examples
this
Linking Words
 case is that some
jobs
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 require the workers to
work
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 under
pressure
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: to finish it successfully.
therefore
Linking Words
,
people
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 who have
interest
Correct article usage
an interest
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 in what they are doing can deal with it easily and completely. A
further
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. good point worth mentioning here is that the workers can motivate themselves to be better
everyday
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every day
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.
This
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 derives from the
fact
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 that
people
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 who love what they do,
they
Correct pronoun usage
apply
show examples
can earn more for themselves experience and knowledge to improve their skills in their careers.
For instance
Linking Words
. as designers who have
such
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lots
Fix the agreement mistake
lot
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 of interest,
people
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 always need to have new ideas and use their
creativeness
Replace the word
creativity
show examples
 for their
job
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,
moreover
Linking Words
, they would read more or leam more from other sources to gain as much as they can. Indeed
as for
Change preposition
apply
show examples
the
Correct article usage
apply
show examples
supporters of the idea that
job
Use synonyms
satisfaction
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 should be a remarkable reason when choosing where to
work
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. They certainly have solid reasons for their own point of view. And obviously, their justifications seem convincing as well. It could be argued that
people
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Use synonyms
work
Correct pronoun usage
who work
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 with high
satisfaction
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 as their
first
Linking Words
 priority can feel less
pressure
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 while having
hard
Change the article
a hard
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 time in their
job
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.
This
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 is because
people
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 would feel that the
pressure
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 they have to face
with
Change preposition
apply
show examples
is the challenge in their project and it is
also
Linking Words
 an opportunity to show out their skills and talents.
Besides
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 that,
this
Linking Words
 opinion may appear reasonable somehow due to the
fact
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 that when the workers feel less
pressure
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 in their
job
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, they might want to continue their career for a long period. To be specific, if
people
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 have high wages
jobs
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, it means they have to exchange their energy and
work
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 with lots of
pressure
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,
this
Linking Words
 leads
people
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become
Add the particle
to become
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boring
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bored
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, lose their motivation, and
then
Linking Words
 quit their careers.
For example
Linking Words
, teachers have to
work
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 with students
everyday
Replace the word
every day
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, but not all
the
Correct article usage
apply
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of them are good and if teachers don't love their
job
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 or
passionate
Add a missing verb
are passionate
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with
Change preposition
about
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 it, they might get bored or lose their
patient
Replace the word
patience
show examples
 for it and quit eventually. From what has been discussed, I completely agree.
with
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apply
show examples
The opinion claiming that jo how
people
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 get
satisfaction
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, from their
job
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 is much more noticeable than
jobs
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 with high
salary
Fix the agreement mistake
salaries
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.
This
Linking Words
 stems from the
fact
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 that
work
Use synonyms
 with interest and passion, employees can complete their
Use synonyms
job
Fix the agreement mistake
jobs
show examples
Correct your spelling
more
mord
Correct your spelling
more
 high]
effective
Change the word
effectively
show examples
,
they
Correct pronoun usage
apply
show examples
motivate themselves to be a better version
everyday
Replace the word
every day
show examples
,
work
Use synonyms
 feel less
pressure
Use synonyms
 with their
job
Use synonyms
 and can
work
Use synonyms
as in
Change preposition
for
show examples
 a long-term period

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Include an introduction and conclusion

A conclusion is essential for IELTS writing task 2. It is more important than most people realise. You will be penalised for missing a conclusion in your IELTS essay.

The easiest paragraph to write in an essay is the conclusion paragraph. This is because the paragraph mostly contains information that has already been presented in the essay – it is just the repetition of some information written in the introduction paragraph and supporting paragraphs.

The conclusion paragraph only has 3 sentences:

  • Summary
  • Restatement of thesis
  • Prediction or recommendation

Example:

To summarize, a robotic teacher does not have the necessary disciple to properly give instructions to students and actually works to retard the ability of a student to comprehend new lessons. Therefore, it is clear that the idea of running a classroom completely by a machine cannot be supported. After thorough analysis on this subject, it is predicted that the adverse effects of the debate over technology-driven teaching will always be greater than the positive effects, and because of this, classroom teachers will never be substituted for technology.

Start your conclusion with a linking phrase. Here are some examples:

  • In conclusion
  • To conclude
  • To summarize
  • Finally
  • In a nutshell
  • In general

Discover more tips in The Ultimate Guide to Get a Target Band Score of 7+ »- a book that's free for 🚀 Premium users.

Topic Vocabulary:
  • remuneration
  • financial security
  • motivation
  • luxuries
  • material possessions
  • fulfillment
  • work-life balance
  • stress levels
  • mental well-being
  • job security
What to do next:
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