IELTS Writing Correction Service
Writing Samples
Band 4.5

Some people think that school and government should take responsibility to transport children to school. While some people think that parents should get children to school. Discuss both views and give your own opinion.

What is the price to be paid for freedom
and
Punctuation problem
, and
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 what if each and every sacrifice made and reason to live turns into dust all in a moment –
tragic
Correct article usage
a tragic
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 reality for characters of Victor Hugo’s most renowned masterpieces
Linking Words
as
Punctuation problem
, as
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 well as
film
Correct article usage
the film
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 of 2012 and
Broadway
Correct article usage
the Broadway
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 musical. Being the biggest fan of both
movie
Correct article usage
the movie
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 and
book
Correct article usage
the book
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it’s
Punctuation problem
, it’s
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 hard to make up my own mind and to choose the perfect depiction of what was happening in France
of
Change preposition
in
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 the 19th century.
For
Linking Words
this
Linking Words
 reason, I come up with proposal – we will discuss the main features of each
way
Use synonyms
 of
story
Use synonyms
 interpretation and by the end of current review you will possess information needed to make THE decision: to spend around 60 hours reading two folios, crying each couple of hours, or to invest your spare 2.5 hours in watching the film dropping tears once in 20 minutes. The initial text provides us with
thorough
Correct article usage
a thorough
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 description and meticulously depicts
circumstances
Correct article usage
the circumstances
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 of each deed and each happening. From
time
Use synonyms
 to
Use synonyms
time
Punctuation problem
time,
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 it may seem a bit dull
but
Punctuation problem
, but
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later
Punctuation problem
later,
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 the understanding that all of it has the goal
coordinating
Change preposition
of coordinating
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 your feelings and gently pushing towards
inevitability
Correct article usage
the inevitability
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 of
final
Correct article usage
the final
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.
On the other hand
Linking Words
, film can’t afford
itself
Correct pronoun usage
apply
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to waste
time
Use synonyms
 and
eager
Verb problem
is eager
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 to concentrate information in the most “digestible” manner. And I must admit
,
Punctuation problem
apply
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 that
this
Linking Words
 achievement was accomplished. The removal of secondary
story
Use synonyms
 lines, concentration of action and getting rid of unnecessary descriptions inevitably led to loss of depth and atmosphere
but
Punctuation problem
, but
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 at the same
time
Use synonyms
 provided the immense rhythm and shrank the magnum opus to an appropriate format. All in all, it is only up to you to decide what is your
way
Use synonyms
 to get acquainted with
this
Linking Words
story
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: action side or romantic one. For
me
Punctuation problem
me,
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 it is still in the same
way
Use synonyms
 as it was
decade
Correct article usage
a decade
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 ago – I am fond of
Use synonyms
story
Correct article usage
the story
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 itself without looking back on
Use synonyms
way
Correct article usage
the way
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 it was interpreted.

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structure
Plan your essay before you write. Start with a clear view in the first part and end with a short end that matches.
coherence
Use simple link words like first, also, but, however to join ideas and keep the flow.
content
Give real examples from the book or film. Say a scene or part that shows your point.
vocabulary
Try to use mainly common words. Keep to the top 100 words to be easy to read.
grammar
Check your grammar. Short and clear sentences help a lot.
style
Keep a calm and smooth tone. Do not use long hard words. Use the voice you want to show.
content
Clear view on your choice between the book and the film.
structure
The mix of fact and view is easy to read and not hard.
content
You show a real compare and contrast between the two ways to tell the story.
Fully explain your ideas

To get an excellent score in the IELTS Task 2 writing section, one of the easiest and most effective tips is structuring your writing in the most solid format. A great argument essay structure may be divided to four paragraphs, in which comprises of four sentences (excluding the conclusion paragraph, which comprises of three sentences).

For we to consider an essay structure a great one, it should be looking like this:

  • Paragraph 1 - Introduction
    • Sentence 1 - Background statement
    • Sentence 2 - Detailed background statement
    • Sentence 3 - Thesis
    • Sentence 4 - Outline sentence
  • Paragraph 2 - First supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 3 - Second supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 4 - Conclusion
    • Sentence 1 - Summary
    • Sentence 2 - Restatement of thesis
    • Sentence 3 - Prediction or recommendation

Our recommended essay structure above comprises of fifteen (15) sentences, which will make your essay approximately 250 to 275 words.

Discover more tips in The Ultimate Guide to Get a Target Band Score of 7+ »- a book that's free for 🚀 Premium users.

Topic Vocabulary:
  • school
  • government
  • parents
  • children
  • transport
  • bus
  • walk
  • cycle
  • car
  • route
  • distance
  • safety
  • cost
  • money
  • support
  • equal
  • need
  • plan
  • policy
  • program
  • option
  • independence
  • attendance
  • access
  • safety
What to do next:
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