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Writing Samples /
Band 4

Employers sometimes ask people applying for jobs for personal information, such as their hobbies and interests, and whether they are married or single. Some people say that this information may be relevant and useful. Others, however, disagree. Discuss both these views and give your own opinion.

#employers #people #jobs #information #hobbies #interests
Dear Sir/Madam, I received an Email a few days back from our Human Resource
Team
 related to
sharing
Correct article usage
the sharing
show examples
 of personal
information
 of all
employees
. I want to share my views about the Pros and Cons of it.
Firstly
, Following factors
such
 as Hobbies, Food Interests, Preferred locations, Single or married, Salary details etc.
Secondly
, having personal
information
such
 as hobbies, preferred destinations to visit, food interests etc of
employees
, facilitates the Management to organize an event either in the office premises or in any resorts for refreshments and to conduct any Sports events or open-air concerts with all
employees
. Having
information
 about Blood Group will be helpful in any emergency condition to react and get it done as fast as possible. When it comes to disadvantages, the Personal
Information
 of an individual is not required to
know
Wrong verb form
be known
show examples
 to everyone as some may misuse it in
otherways
Correct your spelling
other ways
show examples
. Having
those kind
Change the determiner
that kind
those kinds
show examples
 of
information
 among the
team
 is enough. Related to
Salary
Correct article usage
the Salary
show examples
 of an employee, it is better not to disclose even with your
collegue
Correct your spelling
colleague
colleagues
also
 as it is indirectly responsible for
team
co-ordination
Correct your spelling
coordination
show examples
while
 performing daily activities. It impacts the
team
Change noun form
team's
show examples
 performance in the long run as well and allows us to create a kind of grudge among
employees
. I want
to conclude
 that, having
information
 about an individual
upto
Correct your spelling
up to
certain
Correct article usage
a certain
show examples
 extent is enough, sometimes knowing more
also
 causes many problems and indirectly it affects our individual performance as well. So, my request to every employee is, Please do your work on
daily
Add an article
a daily
show examples
 basis and don't think about your
collegues
Correct your spelling
colleagues
. Yours Sincerely, Niranjan Reddy K.
Submitted by niranjanreddy791 on

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Use a variety of complex and simple sentences

You should use complex sentences in your writing, but it does not mean that you should try to make all of our sentences complex.

‘Complex’ sentences are not actually very complex; they are just two or more simple sentences put together. Putting them together makes the essay more coherent and cohesive.

Examples:

I really want to study but I’m too tired.

I wore a warm coat because the weather was cold.

If action is not taken soon on climate change, global warming will get worse.

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Essentional vocabulary list for IELTS Writing 7+

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Topic Vocabulary:
  • job application
  • personal information
  • hobbies and interests
  • marital status
  • relevant
  • useful
  • privacy
  • assessing candidates
  • qualifications
  • experience
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