Government should focus their spending on public service rather than on arts such as music and painting. To what extent do you agree or disagree?

#government #focus #service #arts #music

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It is a fact that

governments

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are spending huge amounts of

money

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for enhancing

Change preposition

to enhance

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the arts and culture of a nation.

However

Linking Words

, authorities have to consider providing better facilities for public well-fare projects . I

Verb problem

apply

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partially

agreed

Wrong verb form

agree

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with

this

Linking Words

notion to a certain extent. The following paragraphs will explain the reasons. On the one hand, arts and culture are

Correct the article-noun agreement

apply

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significant parts of a nation.

Moreover

Linking Words

, many

artists

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life's

Change noun form

' lives

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are dependent on the income they

received

Wrong verb form

receive

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from

governments

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and the

audience

Fix the agreement mistake

audiences

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they perform their talents.

For example

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, there are many painters who sat on the streets and painted magnificent images of nature. They earn

money

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by selling it to the people. In fact, the amount they

received

Wrong verb form

receive

show examples

is not enough for their daily life, so

governments

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' pensions and schemes are supportive of

such

Linking Words

fellow beings.

Furthermore

Linking Words

, some folks are working in the middle and trying to loot all the

money

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from the government.

As a result

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, the possibility of getting

money

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for deserving

artists

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is in pathetic condition.

On the other hand

Linking Words

governments

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are always getting failure in

keeping

Wrong verb form

keep

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their promises towards the public. There are myriad projects stuck in the middle of development.

For example

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, the metro rail development initiated five years before in Haryana is still under the planning commission.

In addition

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, well-developed infrastructures for roads and railways should be the primary concern for every government.

Although

Linking Words

spending

money

Use synonyms

artists

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and enriching traditions is better for the nation, infrastructure development for the public is the initial

to achieve

Wrong verb form

achievement

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. In conclusion,

governments

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should focus

to spend

Change preposition

on spending

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money

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on the public because they are elected by the people to serve them by providing better facilities.

Also

Linking Words

governments

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have to follow trustworthy media to support vivid talented

artists

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Submitted by dilin1212 on Mon Oct 31 2022

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coherence cohesion

Ensure each paragraph has a clear central idea and logical progression. The transition between paragraphs could be smoother.

task achievement

Clarify some of the examples and ensure they directly enhance your argument. The example about artists on the streets could be linked more clearly to government funding.

task achievement

Provide more detailed evidence or explanation in some places to strengthen your argument. For instance, the example of metro rail development can be detailed with specific barriers and how they relate to public spending priorities.

coherence cohesion

The introduction clearly sets up your position, and the conclusion effectively summarizes your argument.

task achievement

The essay addresses both sides of the argument and attempts to present a balanced view.

task achievement

The language used is mostly clear, with some strong points made about government responsibility and infrastructure development.

11
Linking words
meeting the goal of 7 or more
3
Word repetition
meeting the goal of 3 or fewer
11
Grammar mistakes
detected issues

0123456789.0505

Overall Band Score

Coherence and Cohesion: 6.0

Logical structure

Introduction & conclusion present

Supported main points

Accurate linking words

Variety in linking words

Lexical resource: 4.0

Varied vocabulary

Accurate spelling & word formation

Grammatical Range: 4.0

Mix of complex & simple sentences

Clear and correct grammar

Task Achievement: 6.0

Complete response

Clear & comprehensive ideas

Relevant & specific examples

Appropriate word count

4 paragraphs

289 words

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Government should focus their spending on public service rather than on arts such as music and painting. To what extent do you agree or disagree?

The most important aim of sciece should be improve people's lives. To what extent do you agree or disagree this statement ?

Some children spend hours every day on their smartphones. Why is this the case? Do you think this is a positive or a negative development?

When you learn a foreign language, all four skills（listening, reading, speaking and writing) are equally important. To what extent do you agree or disagree？

Motorways help people travel quickly and cover long distances but they also cause problems. What are the problems of motorway and what solutions are there?

In many countries nowadays, consumers can go to a supermarket and buy food produced all over the world. Do you think this is a positive or negative development? Give reasons for your answer and include any relevant examples from your own knowledge or experience.