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Writing Samples
Band 4

Nowadays online shopping is extremely popular. Discuss the impact of it on the environment and on people who lost their jobs because of it. These days Internet shopping is increasing getting popular. Discuss the impact on climate and on the individual who lost their employment?

#impact #environment #people #jobs #internet #climate #employment
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Nowadays,
people
Use synonyms
 are more willing to shop online than
going
Change the verb form
to go
show examples
 to stores.
This
Linking Words
 particular change has
its
Change the word
an
show examples
 impact on
environment
Correct article usage
the environment
show examples
 and society. I am going to illustrate my point of view below.
Firstly
Linking Words
, when I think about online shopping and
environment
Correct article usage
the environment
show examples
, I can see mostly
Correct your spelling
advantages
Correct article usage
the adventages
show examples
adventages
Correct your spelling
advantages
 of it.
People
Use synonyms
 do not go to stores and shopping malls, which means that they do not drive cars that often,
therefore
Linking Words
, they do not have
such
Linking Words
impact
Correct article usage
an impact
show examples
 on air pollution. They receive their packages by post office or couriers services,which deliver a lot of packages in the same time and area, so usage of fuel is reduced anyway.
On the other hand
Linking Words
, when it comes to employees, the situation does not look that great. Online shopping results in reducing
Correct your spelling
workplaces
show examples
work places
Correct your spelling
workplaces
show examples
,
consequently
Linking Words
,
people
Use synonyms
 are losing their jobs. It is more convenient for
companies
Change the noun form
company
show examples
 owners
,
Remove the comma
apply
show examples
 because they do not have to pay
for
Change preposition
apply
show examples
bills by renting a store. They do not need employees,
Linking Words
that
Correct pronoun usage
which
show examples
 is why owners do not have to worry about salaries.
People
Use synonyms
, who have lost their jobs, often need to change their lives completely by moving to a different city in order to find a job, which might be stressful. It is hard to adjust to a new
Correct your spelling
environment
enviroment
Correct your spelling
environment
 and find some new friends.
People
Use synonyms
 with less self-esteem might find themselves in
very
Add an article
a very
show examples
 challenging
situation
Fix the agreement mistake
situations
show examples
.
As a result
Linking Words
, they can suffer from mental diseases. To sum up, mentioned arguments show, that online shopping has
its
Change the word
an
show examples
 impact on
people
Use synonyms
 and
climate
Correct article usage
the climate
show examples
.
People
Use synonyms
 can find it useful or destructive,
nevertheless
Linking Words
, technology is improving, the world evolves and humans have no power over it. They can only adjust to the new reality.
Submitted by paulastb6 on

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To get an excellent score in the IELTS Task 2 writing section, one of the easiest and most effective tips is structuring your writing in the most solid format. A great argument essay structure may be divided to four paragraphs, in which comprises of four sentences (excluding the conclusion paragraph, which comprises of three sentences).

For we to consider an essay structure a great one, it should be looking like this:

  • Paragraph 1 - Introduction
    • Sentence 1 - Background statement
    • Sentence 2 - Detailed background statement
    • Sentence 3 - Thesis
    • Sentence 4 - Outline sentence
  • Paragraph 2 - First supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 3 - Second supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 4 - Conclusion
    • Sentence 1 - Summary
    • Sentence 2 - Restatement of thesis
    • Sentence 3 - Prediction or recommendation

Our recommended essay structure above comprises of fifteen (15) sentences, which will make your essay approximately 250 to 275 words.

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