IELTS Writing Correction Service /
Writing Samples /
Band 5

Some believe that people today have no interest in maintaining the traditional culture of their country or region. Others believe that it is still important to people that we preserve a traditional way of life. Discuss both views and give your opinion.

#believe #people #interest #culture #country #region #life
Today we live in a globalized world and the development of global culture is often at the expense
o
Change preposition
of
show examples
 local traditions. There are certainly many
people
 who show indifference to local customs in favour of embracing global ideas, but there are still many who see the value in maintaining them, myself included. It is easy to argue that
people
 are strongly influenced by the effects of globalization. Technology
in particular
 seems to dominate the leisure time of young
people
, whether it be gadgets or the Internet.
As a result
, there are trends which can be described as global in all aspects of culture.
For instance
, many
people
 now prefer listening to
music
 by Ed Sheeran or Beyoncé rather than the traditional
music
 of their country, which is often seen as outdated
by comparison
.
Similarly
, many would rather try exotic ‘foreign’ foods than use traditional recipes, which they might see as dull or old-fashioned.
However
, it would be a mistake to think that everyone thinks
this
 way. Older
people
 especially feel nostalgia for how things used to be done.
For example
, in the UK, the Royal Family are as popular as ever, and thousands of
people
 turn out to see them wherever they go. It should
also
 be remembered that
any
Correct determiner usage
some
show examples
 of today’s global pop stars were themselves inspired by more traditional genres of
music
. Ed Sheeran,
for example
, embodies many musical traditions,
such
 as folk
music
 and busking. In the same way, it is still common to see performances of more traditional forms of
music
,
such
 as classical and jazz. My own opinion is that there is truth in both views. There are certainly
people
 so focused on global trends that there is so
space
Correct quantifier usage
much space
show examples
 in their lives for, or interest in, preserving the past.
On the other hand
, there are many who prefer to live
in
Change preposition
apply
show examples
their lives more nostalgically and value the traditions that have been handed down. I would say that I belong more to
this
 second group of
people
,
although
 I admit I would struggle without the Internet.
Submitted by amritmullowal on

Unauthorized use and/or duplication of this material without express and written permission from this site’s author and/or owner is strictly prohibited. Excerpts and links may be used, provided that full and clear credit is given to Writing9 with appropriate and specific direction to the original content.

Include an introduction and conclusion

A conclusion is essential for IELTS writing task 2. It is more important than most people realise. You will be penalised for missing a conclusion in your IELTS essay.

The easiest paragraph to write in an essay is the conclusion paragraph. This is because the paragraph mostly contains information that has already been presented in the essay – it is just the repetition of some information written in the introduction paragraph and supporting paragraphs.

The conclusion paragraph only has 3 sentences:

  • Summary
  • Restatement of thesis
  • Prediction or recommendation

Example:

To summarize, a robotic teacher does not have the necessary disciple to properly give instructions to students and actually works to retard the ability of a student to comprehend new lessons. Therefore, it is clear that the idea of running a classroom completely by a machine cannot be supported. After thorough analysis on this subject, it is predicted that the adverse effects of the debate over technology-driven teaching will always be greater than the positive effects, and because of this, classroom teachers will never be substituted for technology.

Start your conclusion with a linking phrase. Here are some examples:

  • In conclusion
  • To conclude
  • To summarize
  • Finally
  • In a nutshell
  • In general

Discover more tips in The Ultimate Guide to Get a Target Band Score of 7+ »— a book that's free for 🚀 Premium users.

Essentional vocabulary list for IELTS Writing 7+

Learn how to write high-scoring essays with powerful words.
Download Free PDF and start improving you writing skills today!
What to do next:
Look at other essays: