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Writing Samples
Band 6

Nowadays, more people move away from their friends and families for work. does this development have more advantages or disadvantages ?

#people #move #friends #families #work #development
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In recent years, staying far from parents and friends for the sake of a job has become trendy in our society.
Although
Linking Words
, individuals may benefit financially through better jobs in remote places certainly the drawbacks of living away from family outweigh the positive side of the fact. In the subsequent paragraphs,
i
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I
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 will be explaining the inconveniences incorporated with living far away from home.
To begin
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 with, doing a full-time job at any distant place barely lets a person visit his/her family so often for social cohesion tends to be fragile as people lack physical connectivity. A number of
such
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 incidents can be found in our surroundings;
for instance
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,
one
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 of my
neighbors
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neighbours
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 almost has no connection with their son who left home years ago to join his dream job and never came back since
then
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. Though the son sends
the
Correct article usage
a
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 handsome amount of money to his parents it does not compensate for his absence from the parents and gradually the bond between them has been lost. another point worth mentioning is that
,
Remove the comma
apply
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 living alone in an unfamiliar place can severely impact
one
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's spiritual peace. To be more specific, getting together with family members or friends after the office helps people to release the stresses and pressures from the workplace whereas
one
Use synonyms
 has to be alone at home with all the workloads in their head since no
one
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 will be there to talk.
Thus
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, many people suffer from anxiety leading to
further
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 mental and physical disorders. In conclusion, living far away for the purpose of a profession might be beneficiary to financial development but it ruins
one
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's happiness by affecting social bonds and personal well-being which is not worthwhile at all.
Submitted by barson.mithun392 on

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To get an excellent score in the IELTS Task 2 writing section, one of the easiest and most effective tips is structuring your writing in the most solid format. A great argument essay structure may be divided to four paragraphs, in which comprises of four sentences (excluding the conclusion paragraph, which comprises of three sentences).

For we to consider an essay structure a great one, it should be looking like this:

  • Paragraph 1 - Introduction
    • Sentence 1 - Background statement
    • Sentence 2 - Detailed background statement
    • Sentence 3 - Thesis
    • Sentence 4 - Outline sentence
  • Paragraph 2 - First supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 3 - Second supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 4 - Conclusion
    • Sentence 1 - Summary
    • Sentence 2 - Restatement of thesis
    • Sentence 3 - Prediction or recommendation

Our recommended essay structure above comprises of fifteen (15) sentences, which will make your essay approximately 250 to 275 words.

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