Big salary is much more important than job satisfaction. Do you agree or disagree? Provide relevant examples if necessary.

#salary #job #satisfaction

The

salary

affects our everyday life profoundly.

However

, the aspect of being happy with our

job

also

important. With all due respect to the people who prefer doing a

job

that answers their personal ambitions, from my perspective, the

salary

is definitely way ahead in terms of importance than

this

. Below, I will demonstrate and substantiate my position in two parts.

Firstly

, I strongly disagree with one of the most viral phrases that “money cannot buy happiness”. Actually, in most

Change preposition

apply

show examples

the

Correct article usage

apply

show examples

cases, it can. Every aspect of our life is somewhat connected to money, we are required to pay for utilities, accommodation,

travel

Correct word choice

and travel

show examples

, as well as purchase necessary commodities for various needs. Apart from that, we simply cannot survive without sufficient funds for food, water or clothes.

Thus

, it is clear that with

big

Add an article

a big

show examples

salary

, people are able to afford plenty of basic needs and in many cases even go

further

beyond that.

Secondly

, having a sufficient amount of income would enable us to help family and friends.

Majority

Correct article usage

The majority

show examples

of people struggle to cover their own expenses solely. While, individuals who have big salaries are able to act generously and pay for family members’ education fees, as well as,

give

Wrong verb form

given

show examples

them

Correct your spelling

the

show examples

opportunity

Add an article

the opportunity

an opportunity

show examples

to explore different fields of their interest.

This

is especially evident in large families where young siblings are not able to fund themselves and often need

Correct article usage

a helping-hand

show examples

helping-hand

Correct your spelling

helping hand

show examples

from senior members of the family.

Accordingly

, apart from

the

Correct article usage

apply

show examples

having a chance to spend money for your pleasure, large salaries

are often spend

Change the verb form

are often spent

show examples

for the greater good. In conclusion, having a decent

salary

would outweigh the

job

satisfaction aspect. On the one hand, money can bring satisfaction and stability in our lives as it grants us

opportunity

Add an article

the opportunity

an opportunity

show examples

to live without fear of not having

capability

Add an article

the capability

show examples

to cover basic needs.

On the other hand

, finances can be a source of happiness

Change preposition

for

show examples

others,

such

as family members, loved ones and those who need help in general.

Consequently

, I agree with the statement about the importance of

salary

over

the

Correct article usage

apply

show examples

job

satisfaction.

Submitted by oboladze.tiko on Wed Nov 02 2022

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Support ideas with relevant, specific examples

Examples make your writing easier to understand by illustrating points more effectively.

Examples, if used properly, not only help you get higher marks for ‘Task Response’ but also for ‘Coherence’.

When giving examples it is best to put them after your main idea or topic sentence. They can be used in the middle of supporting sentences or they can be used to start a new sentence. There is no rule for where exactly to give examples in essays, logically they would come after your main idea/topic sentence or just after a supporting sentence.

Linking words for giving examples:

for example
for instance
to illustrate this
to give a clear example
such as
namely
to illustrate
take, for example

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11Linking words
meeting the goal of 7 or more
2Word repetition
meeting the goal of 3 or fewer
16Grammar mistakes
 

4 paragraphs

342 words

5.00

Overall Band Score

Coherence and Cohesion: 6.0

Logical structure

Introduction & conclusion present

Supported main points

Accurate linking words

Variety in linking words

Lexical resource: 4.0

Varied vocabulary

Accurate spelling & word formation

Grammatical Range: 4.0

Mix of complex & simple sentences

Clear and correct grammar

Task Achievement: 6.0

Complete response

7.5

Clear & comprehensive ideas

Relevant & specific examples

Appropriate word count

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Topic Vocabulary:

remuneration
financial security
motivation
luxuries
material possessions
fulfillment
work-life balance
stress levels
mental well-being
job security

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Big salary is much more important than job satisfaction. Do you agree or disagree? Provide relevant examples if necessary.

Support ideas with relevant, specific examples

Universities should take equal number of male and female students in every subject. To what extent do you agree or disagree

In recent times, many people have focused on the negative effects advertising has on children’s health, behaviour and family relationships. Advertising to children should be banned. To what extent do you agree or disagree?

The use of electronic has a negative effect on personal relationships between people. To what extent do you agree or disagree?

Many foods are shipped from far away. Some people think that eating local food is more environmentally and economically. Do you think the advantages outweigh its disadvantages?

Many people think that successful people’s accomplishments depend on the regions they come from, while other people think that it doesn’t matter where a person comes from, if that person has the will to succeed, he/she will triumph. What do you think?.