IELTS Writing Correction Service
Writing Samples
Band 5

In some countries, workers have to retire when they reach a certain age, such as 65.in other parts of the word, they are encouraged to continue working for as long as they want .Discuss these two options and decide which is the better alternative

#countries #workers #age #parts #word #two #options #alternative
✨ Do you want to improve your IELTS writing?
Many societies have a retirement
age
Use synonyms
 of 65, while others do not have a retirement
age
Use synonyms
 limit unless there is a viable alternative.
Although
Linking Words
 65 is an appropriate retirement
age
Use synonyms
, the ability of the individual to
work
Use synonyms
 should not be ignored.  Due to
this
Linking Words
, there are many factors that influence working
such
Linking Words
 as
age
Use synonyms
, stress, tendency, and so on. As life is quite hectic in most developing countries these days, it is fair to consider an
age
Use synonyms
 for terminating employment. There is an indisputable relationship between
age
Use synonyms
 and job efficiency. In Iran,
for instance
Linking Words
, the maximum
age
Use synonyms
 for working in government offices is 65 and after that,
employees
Use synonyms
 are required to retire due to their diminished capacity to continue their
work
Use synonyms
.  
Conversely
Linking Words
, in some developed countries, people enjoy
a
Correct article usage
apply
show examples
stable mental and physical conditions, so officials are of the opinion that underestimating the importance of experience is unlogical, and they allow workers to remain employed as long as they transfer their knowledge and experience to the new
employees
Use synonyms
. In Canada,
for example
Linking Words
,
employees
Use synonyms
 are encouraged to continue their
work
Use synonyms
 while training new
employees
Use synonyms
.  For some people, there is a legal limit on the
age
Use synonyms
 at which they can retire. My opinion is that there is a great difference between people's abilities and their circumstances, and it is better to continue the
work
Use synonyms
 as long as the individuals are capable of staying at
work
Use synonyms
 and are willing to do so.
Submitted by TUTOO on

Unauthorized use and/or duplication of this material without express and written permission from this site’s author and/or owner is strictly prohibited. Excerpts and links may be used, provided that full and clear credit is given to Writing9 with appropriate and specific direction to the original content.

Fully explain your ideas

To get an excellent score in the IELTS Task 2 writing section, one of the easiest and most effective tips is structuring your writing in the most solid format. A great argument essay structure may be divided to four paragraphs, in which comprises of four sentences (excluding the conclusion paragraph, which comprises of three sentences).

For we to consider an essay structure a great one, it should be looking like this:

  • Paragraph 1 - Introduction
    • Sentence 1 - Background statement
    • Sentence 2 - Detailed background statement
    • Sentence 3 - Thesis
    • Sentence 4 - Outline sentence
  • Paragraph 2 - First supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 3 - Second supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 4 - Conclusion
    • Sentence 1 - Summary
    • Sentence 2 - Restatement of thesis
    • Sentence 3 - Prediction or recommendation

Our recommended essay structure above comprises of fifteen (15) sentences, which will make your essay approximately 250 to 275 words.

Discover more tips in The Ultimate Guide to Get a Target Band Score of 7+ »— a book that's free for 🚀 Premium users.

What to do next:
Look at other essays: