IELTS Writing Correction Service
Writing Samples
Band 5

International tourism has become a huge industry in the world. Do the problems of international travel outweigh its advantages?

#tourism #industry #world #travel
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It is true that the business of international travel is a multi-million-pound industry nowadays. While
this
 can cause some bad effects, I believe that the overall outcome is more positive. On the one hand, the rapid booming of
tourism
Add an article
the tourism
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 industry has led to several negative consequences in terms of
natural
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the natural
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 environment, traditional culture and the cost of living. The expansion of facilities and infrastructure may destroy the wildlife habitat, and
this
 is detrimental
for
Change preposition
to
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environment
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the environment
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.
For example
, the
constructions
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construction
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 of seaside hotels could spoil the splendid scenery of a sunset beach and occupy the sandy habitat
used
Correct pronoun usage
that used
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 to be a place where turtles live. Cultural conflicts may
also
 occur as
the
Correct article usage
apply
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tourists from different countries
flooding
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flood
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 in, and traditional
culture
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cultures
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 may suffer from
this
. Since the sightseers spend a huge amount of money on local products, services and even housing, the cost of living could rise and affect the quality of life of residents.
On the other hand
, I would argue that
benefits
Correct article usage
the benefits
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from
Change preposition
of
show examples
 travel far outweigh its drawbacks.
Firstly
,
tourism
 can help to significantly increase employment possibilities for local people.
For instance
, due to the increasing need for more
tourism
 facilities, many job opportunities are created, especially in the infrastructure industry and other sectors related to
tourism
, including accommodation, food, and car rentals.
Secondly
, the communication between
travelers
Change the spelling
travellers
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 from various cultural backgrounds and local residents encourages
the
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apply
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cultural diversity and makes it more attractive for visitors.
Finally
, the economies of many developing countries rely heavily on sightseers, who economically contribute to the host country
by
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through
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 the money they spend on souvenirs, food, hotels and transportation.
This
 can be seen as a great source of income for locals, and governments can
also
 have
revenue
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the revenue
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 to invest in protection projects
of
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for
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natural
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the natural
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 environment and traditional culture. In conclusion, I believe that the benefits of international
tourism
 are more significant than the disadvantages.
Submitted by tincel on

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Include an introduction and conclusion

A conclusion is essential for IELTS writing task 2. It is more important than most people realise. You will be penalised for missing a conclusion in your IELTS essay.

The easiest paragraph to write in an essay is the conclusion paragraph. This is because the paragraph mostly contains information that has already been presented in the essay – it is just the repetition of some information written in the introduction paragraph and supporting paragraphs.

The conclusion paragraph only has 3 sentences:

  • Summary
  • Restatement of thesis
  • Prediction or recommendation

Example:

To summarize, a robotic teacher does not have the necessary disciple to properly give instructions to students and actually works to retard the ability of a student to comprehend new lessons. Therefore, it is clear that the idea of running a classroom completely by a machine cannot be supported. After thorough analysis on this subject, it is predicted that the adverse effects of the debate over technology-driven teaching will always be greater than the positive effects, and because of this, classroom teachers will never be substituted for technology.

Start your conclusion with a linking phrase. Here are some examples:

  • In conclusion
  • To conclude
  • To summarize
  • Finally
  • In a nutshell
  • In general

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