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Some people think young people are not suitable for important positions in the government，while other people think it is a good idea for young people to take on these positions. Discuss both views and give your own opinion.

#people #positions #government，while #idea
Some
people
 believe that it is not good to put young
people
 in important positions in
government
. The
first
 is that young
people
 tend to be more reformist and reckless than older
people
, and
therefore
 more prone to making mistakes.
Government
, as
a machinery
Remove the article
machinery
a piece of machinery
show examples
, is too sensitive to be left
for
Change preposition
to
show examples
 young
people
’s trials and errors.
Secondly
,
as
Correct word choice
apply
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they lack the experience,
the
Correct article usage
apply
show examples
diplomatic insight and
the
Correct article usage
apply
show examples
intuitiveness of older politicians. and
government
Add an article
the government
show examples
 is a matter of practical expertise , it differs on a case-to-case basis and requires the kind of intelligence that only comes from ages of experience in the field. Others believe that it is good to put young
people
 in important positions.
Firstly
, young
people
 bring more possibilities to the work of
government
, as they have new perspectives and tend to be more innovative and creative.
Secondly
, only the young population is aware of the challenges we face at present
,
Remove the comma
apply
show examples
 because we are in a time of rapid change and the old methods aren’t always working.
Finally
, the potential of young
people
 is
also
 effective, but if they are not given a chance their potential will become a relic of the past in the coming future, which is a great pity. I personally believe that the best approach is to start with young
people
 partially occupying important positions in less important departments. Because generational replacement is always necessary,the thing we can do is
to
Fix the infinitive
apply
show examples
let the process of alternation happen gradually and more gently.
For
example
, the culture and education departments,
for
example
, are now taking the lead with young leaders. And the ministries of economy,
for
example
, and foreign affairs are left to older, more experienced
people
.
Secondly
, 'young' needs to be limited to a certain age,
for
example
 in the US, one must be 25 to become a Representative, 30 to become a Senator, and 35 to become President. I think
such
 a classification of the minimum age for office is useful because we always need to have
experience
Change the article
the experience
show examples
 to back up our abilities, whatever they may be, and no leader's abilities can be achieved overnight.
Submitted by elvazhu31 on

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For we to consider an essay structure a great one, it should be looking like this:

  • Paragraph 1 - Introduction
    • Sentence 1 - Background statement
    • Sentence 2 - Detailed background statement
    • Sentence 3 - Thesis
    • Sentence 4 - Outline sentence
  • Paragraph 2 - First supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 3 - Second supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 4 - Conclusion
    • Sentence 1 - Summary
    • Sentence 2 - Restatement of thesis
    • Sentence 3 - Prediction or recommendation

Our recommended essay structure above comprises of fifteen (15) sentences, which will make your essay approximately 250 to 275 words.

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