IELTS Writing Correction Service
Writing Samples
Band 4

Employers sometimes ask people applying for jobs for personal information, such as their hobbies and intrests, and whether they are married or single. Some people say that this infomation may be relevant and useful. Others disagree. Discuss both these views and give your opinion.

#employers #people #jobs #information #hobbies #intrests #infomation
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The present work deals with the effect of
heat
Use synonyms
 treatments including direct
aging
Change the spelling
ageing
show examples
 (DA), solutionzing (
ST
Use synonyms
) and solutionizing +
aging
Change the spelling
ageing
show examples
 (T6) on mechanical and microstructural evolution of selective laser-melted AlSi10Mg alloy at room and elevated
temperature
Use synonyms
 simultaneously. The DA
heat
Use synonyms
treatment
Use synonyms
 badly damaged the plasticity and UTS of AlSi10Mg at room
temperature
Use synonyms
 because of the formation of nano Si
precipitates
Use synonyms
 despite the improvement of YS.
Also
Linking Words
, After
ST
Use synonyms
 and T6
heat
Use synonyms
treatment
Use synonyms
, various porosities were observed which was due to
dissolving
Correct article usage
the dissolving
show examples
 cellular
structure
Fix the agreement mistake
structures
show examples
 which acted as efficient barriers for the coalescence and movement of small pores which primarily exist because of trapped gasses flaw
defect
Fix the agreement mistake
defects
show examples
 during
selective
Correct article usage
the selective
show examples
 laser melting process. In respect of
high
Add a hyphen
high-temperature
show examples
temperature
Use synonyms
 mechanical properties at
maximum
Add an article
a maximum
the maximum
show examples
 servicing
temperature
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 of AlSi10Mg alloy (~200°C), the
Add a hyphen
as-built
show examples
as built
Add a hyphen
as-built
show examples
 and directly aged
specimens
Use synonyms
 have better performance than the
solution treated
Add a hyphen
solution-treated
show examples
 and T6-aged ones.
This
Linking Words
 was attributed to the presence of cellular structure acting as
inhibitor
Add an article
an inhibitor
show examples
 of the trapped gasses.
Consequently
Linking Words
, the weaker mechanical properties of
ST
Use synonyms
 and T6
specimens
Use synonyms
 at room and elevated
temperature
Use synonyms
 were mainly due to
this
Linking Words
 flaw, and T6
heat
Use synonyms
treatment
Use synonyms
 had
even
Correct article usage
an even
show examples
 more detrimental effect on
as-built
Correct article usage
the as-built
show examples
 specimen because of the 6-hour
aging
Change the spelling
ageing
show examples
 which allows easier coalescence and migration of small pores. During the homogenizing process in
ST
Use synonyms
 and T6
heat
Use synonyms
treatment
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, due to Ostwald ripening, the small
precipitates
Use synonyms
 from the inner part of the melt pool are likely to agglomerate in the area
which
Change preposition
in which
show examples
these
Change the determiner
this
show examples
 primary coarse Si
precipitates
Use synonyms
 existed.
Moreover
Linking Words
, the investigation of
fracture
Add an article
the fracture
a fracture
show examples
 surface of these
specimens
Use synonyms
 showed that DA was the
most
Correct quantifier usage
apply
show examples
brittle specimen and
ST
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 was the softest, and both
ST
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 and T6 had various voids and mostly fine dimples.
Also
Linking Words
, all
specimens
Use synonyms
 tended to crack from the HAZ zone due to the weakness in
this
Linking Words
 area which result in strain localization. It was observed that after the deformation, both
ST
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 and T6
specimens
Use synonyms
 tended to crack from the HAZ where mostly fragmented and non-fragmented
precipitates
Use synonyms
 existed.
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Include an introduction and conclusion

A conclusion is essential for IELTS writing task 2. It is more important than most people realise. You will be penalised for missing a conclusion in your IELTS essay.

The easiest paragraph to write in an essay is the conclusion paragraph. This is because the paragraph mostly contains information that has already been presented in the essay – it is just the repetition of some information written in the introduction paragraph and supporting paragraphs.

The conclusion paragraph only has 3 sentences:

  • Summary
  • Restatement of thesis
  • Prediction or recommendation

Example:

To summarize, a robotic teacher does not have the necessary disciple to properly give instructions to students and actually works to retard the ability of a student to comprehend new lessons. Therefore, it is clear that the idea of running a classroom completely by a machine cannot be supported. After thorough analysis on this subject, it is predicted that the adverse effects of the debate over technology-driven teaching will always be greater than the positive effects, and because of this, classroom teachers will never be substituted for technology.

Start your conclusion with a linking phrase. Here are some examples:

  • In conclusion
  • To conclude
  • To summarize
  • Finally
  • In a nutshell
  • In general

Discover more tips in The Ultimate Guide to Get a Target Band Score of 7+ »— a book that's free for 🚀 Premium users.

Topic Vocabulary:
  • comprehensive view
  • workplace culture
  • stress management skills
  • team collaboration abilities
  • schedule flexibility
  • family-related benefits
  • unconscious bias
  • discrimination
  • professional qualifications
  • privacy breach
  • objective criteria
  • standardized criteria
  • insights
  • fairness
  • non-discriminatory hiring process
What to do next:
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