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Writing Samples
Band 3

Some people argue job satisfaction is more important than job security. Others believe a permanent job is more important. Discuss both views and give your opinion.

#people #job #satisfaction #security
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Some people want to find jobs where
satisfaction
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 is more crucial than
security
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 while other people think that a permanent
job
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 has greater significance. Personally, I believe
job
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satisfaction
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 plays a more critical role than
job
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security
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. Some workers believe that a
security
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job
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 is more important because of the stability in terms of finance. With
permanent
Add an article
a permanent
the permanent
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job
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, they know exactly their monthly income, and they can control
of
Change preposition
apply
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their financial plan.
Additionally
Linking Words
, staying with the
job
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 long-term leads to greater credibility, as many employers value
job
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 loyalty. Getting the trust of employers will open up many opportunities for promotion and more benefits
such
Linking Words
 as bonuses.
Correct your spelling
Although
A thought
Athought
Correct your spelling
Although
 a
security
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job
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 brings a lot of
benefit
Change to a plural noun
benefits
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, it is not as important as a
satisfaction
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job
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 When satisfied, employees will be less stressed or exhausted at work. That helps boost
workers
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workers'
worker's
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 spirit and increase business productivity. For employers, keeping their employees satisfied is an effective way to reduce
turnover
Correct article usage
the turnover
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rate
Fix the agreement mistake
rates
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. People who are satisfied with their jobs are less likely to find other new jobs
and
Correct word choice
which
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make
Correct subject-verb agreement
makes
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 it easier for companies to recruit and retain talent. In summary, while some believe that
job
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security
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 plays a more important role in financial stability and
job
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 credibility, I think the importance of
job
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satisfaction
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 is greater than
job
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security
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, as satisfied employees are more likely to be productive and committed to the organization
Submitted by khanhle.englishteacher on

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Fully explain your ideas

To get an excellent score in the IELTS Task 2 writing section, one of the easiest and most effective tips is structuring your writing in the most solid format. A great argument essay structure may be divided to four paragraphs, in which comprises of four sentences (excluding the conclusion paragraph, which comprises of three sentences).

For we to consider an essay structure a great one, it should be looking like this:

  • Paragraph 1 - Introduction
    • Sentence 1 - Background statement
    • Sentence 2 - Detailed background statement
    • Sentence 3 - Thesis
    • Sentence 4 - Outline sentence
  • Paragraph 2 - First supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 3 - Second supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 4 - Conclusion
    • Sentence 1 - Summary
    • Sentence 2 - Restatement of thesis
    • Sentence 3 - Prediction or recommendation

Our recommended essay structure above comprises of fifteen (15) sentences, which will make your essay approximately 250 to 275 words.

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