IELTS Writing Correction Service
Writing Samples
Band 3

nowadays, companies invest their money in various business sectors, do you agree or disagree?

#companies #money #business #sectors
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The bar chart compares the investments, by various organizations, in four business sectors. Overall,
Organization
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B
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 spends more money than other groups, especially
in
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on
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 staff training and
doing
Unnecessary verb
apply
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research. Meanwhile, construction receives the most money from
organization
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 A and machinery is invested
in
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apply
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the most by
Organization
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 C. In regard to machinery,
Organization
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 C allocates 1.3
billion
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 euros, 0.3
billion
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 higher than
Organization
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 A. Meanwhile, the remaining companies invest between 0.8
billion
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 and 0.9
billion
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. Concerning building, the expenditure of
Organization
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 A is slightly higher than that of
Organization
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B
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, at nearly 1.5
billion
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 and 1.4
billion
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, in sequence.
In contrast
Linking Words
, the other businesses expend a similar sum, at 1
billion
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 each. Regarding in-house training, the highest investment belongs to
Organization
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B
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, at nearly 1,9
billion
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. The
next
Linking Words
 highest figure is
Organization
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 A, at 1,2
billion
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. Meanwhile, the expenditure of the remaining companies is from 0.7
billion
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 to 0.9
billion
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. In terms of research,
Organization
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B
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 spends 1.6
billion
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 euros to conduct research, closely followed by
Organization
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 C, at roughly 1.3
billion
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. The sequence continues with
Organization
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 A, E, and D, at about 1.1
billion
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, roughly 0.7
billion
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 and 0.6
billion
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, correspondingly.
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To get an excellent score in the IELTS Task 2 writing section, one of the easiest and most effective tips is structuring your writing in the most solid format. A great argument essay structure may be divided to four paragraphs, in which comprises of four sentences (excluding the conclusion paragraph, which comprises of three sentences).

For we to consider an essay structure a great one, it should be looking like this:

  • Paragraph 1 - Introduction
    • Sentence 1 - Background statement
    • Sentence 2 - Detailed background statement
    • Sentence 3 - Thesis
    • Sentence 4 - Outline sentence
  • Paragraph 2 - First supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 3 - Second supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 4 - Conclusion
    • Sentence 1 - Summary
    • Sentence 2 - Restatement of thesis
    • Sentence 3 - Prediction or recommendation

Our recommended essay structure above comprises of fifteen (15) sentences, which will make your essay approximately 250 to 275 words.

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