IELTS Writing Correction Service
Writing Samples
Band 5.5

Doing an enjoyable activity with a child can develop better skills and more creativity than reading. To what extent do you agree? Use reasons and specific examples to explain your answer.

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Parents
Use synonyms
 throughout the world are participating with their offspring in new and fun activities rather than only reading about
it
Correct pronoun usage
them
show examples
 in the book.
This
Linking Words
 approach is considered to be more practical to make a child understands life lessons. I
am
Unnecessary verb
apply
show examples
strongly advocate
this
Linking Words
 approach and will discuss the merits of
this
Linking Words
 method in the essay. A fundamental reason is that reading may not provide a thorough understanding to a student which creates confusion in their mind.
On the other hand
Linking Words
,
parents
Use synonyms
 create the same scenario for them and they are asked to perform which helps them to bring out
the
Change the word
their
show examples
 creative side in them.
For example
Linking Words
,
parents
Use synonyms
 in the USA help their
children
Use synonyms
 to learn moral values by baking and selling cookies and donating
the
Correct article usage
apply
show examples
money to
the
Correct article usage
apply
show examples
needy people.
Moreover
Linking Words
, reading can be a fun activity but only for
them
Correct pronoun usage
those
show examples
 who enjoy
this
Linking Words
 activity to the core.
In addition
Linking Words
 to
this
Linking Words
, many a time people love to enjoy physical scenarios because
it
Correct pronoun usage
they
show examples
 would be retained in
our
Correct pronoun usage
their
show examples
mind
Fix the agreement mistake
minds
show examples
 for a longer period of time.
Children
Use synonyms
 love to solve puzzles involving moral activities which helps them to develop their
brain
Fix the agreement mistake
brains
show examples
 as it gives an adrenaline rush to many to clear challenges and how
to
Fix the infinitive
apply
show examples
find a solution for
it
Correct pronoun usage
them
show examples
.
Furthermore
Linking Words
,
parents
Use synonyms
 help the
children
Use synonyms
 to find a good hobby which can be converted
in
Change preposition
into
show examples
 a great skill in
near
Correct article usage
the near
show examples
 future.
For example
Linking Words
, in India
parents
Use synonyms
 are making
children
Use synonyms
 perform one sport of their liking so that
ample
Correct article usage
an ample
show examples
 amount of endorphins can be released and
a
Remove the article
apply
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great skill can be developed. In conclusion , reading should be allowed to those only who enjoy it thoroughly and students should explore their creative side by performing some new activities and challenges.

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Use cohesive linking words accurately and appropriately

Linking words are very important in your essay.

To score effectively on your IELTS exam, you should make an effort to implement short concise sentences coupled with linking words.

Almost every sentence in your essay should have a linking word of some sort.

In fact, the only sentences that can omit linking words are your background sentence and thesis.

Linking word examples:

  • firstly
  • secondly
  • thirdly
  • in additional
  • moreover
  • also
  • for example
  • for instance
  • therefore
  • however
  • although
  • even though
  • despite

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