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Band 4

Nowadays many people have access to computers on a wide basis and a large number of children play computer games. What are the problems of playing computer games and what can you suggest to minimize the bad effects?

#people #access #computers #basis #children #computer #games #effects
It has been universally acknowledged that owing to the easy availability of
computers
, plenty of
Correct your spelling
youngsters
youngesters
Correct your spelling
youngsters
 play games
Change preposition
on at
show examples
at
Correct your spelling
an
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unlimited
Correct article usage
an unlimited
show examples
 scale. A number of
the
Correct article usage
apply
show examples
Correct your spelling
problems
show examples
problemes
Correct your spelling
problems
show examples
 have been emerging from
this
 phenomenon
such
 as blur eye-sight and
obestity
Correct your spelling
obesity
.Awareness of
parents
 and teachers can help to fix
this
 curtail. The government should keep an eye to restrict the overuse of
computers
 for games.
Although
, plenty of problems are there yet some sensible solutions are
also
 available to curb the issue.
This
 essay will shed light on possible problems caused by
this
 trend and
also
 some solutions to get rid of
this
 menace. To commence with, there are
lot
Change the article
a lot
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 of things to be shared to manifest why we must limit the use of
computers
 in our
Add a hyphen
day-to-day
show examples
day-to -day
Correct your spelling
day-to-day
show examples
 life. The mammoth conspicuous effect is upon the physical health of youngsters. So much exposure to screen blue rays is extremely
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harmful
harmfull
Correct your spelling
harmful
for
Change preposition
to
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 the eyes of students. A survey was
a
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apply
show examples
conducted by a news channel underlying the fact that 80% of students who are using
computers
 more than six hours daily
,
Remove the comma
apply
show examples
 are prone to
Replace the word
lose
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loose
Correct your spelling
lose
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 their
eye-sight
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eyesight
show examples
 early
then
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than
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 expected.
Moreover
Add a comma
,Moreover
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 obesity is one of the most challenging issues generated
from
Change preposition
by
show examples
this
 habit.To be more specific,being
Correct your spelling
overweight
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over weight
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overweight
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 is the centre of all other
Add a hyphen
health-related
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health related
Add a hyphen
health-related
show examples
 problems.So, eyesight and obesity are two major issues
emerged
Correct pronoun usage
that emerged
show examples
 from
over use
Correct your spelling
overuse
show examples
 of completers. Moving
further
 to the conception,
Parents
 should check the time limits of using blue-scree .
Furthermore
, schools must promote
out-door
Correct your spelling
outdoor
show examples
 activities so that children may indulge in
such
 practices,
For instance
,
government
Add an article
the government
show examples
 should organise tournaments and should provide good facilities and rewards to winners and
participates
Replace the word
participants
show examples
. It will certainly help in reducing the screen hours.So,
parents
, teachers and authorities should work together to save the future of
youngester
Correct your spelling
youngster
youngsters
 from
overuse
Wrong verb form
overusing
show examples
computer
Fix the agreement mistake
computers
show examples
. To recapitulate, if too much use of
computers
 will not be checked at times, it will finish the future of generations. It will
spoilt
Change the verb form
spoil
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 their health
from
Change preposition
in
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 all aspects.
Thus
,
this
 is the demand of time to be aware of
consequences
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the consequences
show examples
 and fix
this
 hazard.
Parents
 and teachers can do it only by keeping a check on the
time-limits
Correct your spelling
time limits
show examples
.
Submitted by bhomik2010 on

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Include an introduction and conclusion

A conclusion is essential for IELTS writing task 2. It is more important than most people realise. You will be penalised for missing a conclusion in your IELTS essay.

The easiest paragraph to write in an essay is the conclusion paragraph. This is because the paragraph mostly contains information that has already been presented in the essay – it is just the repetition of some information written in the introduction paragraph and supporting paragraphs.

The conclusion paragraph only has 3 sentences:

  • Summary
  • Restatement of thesis
  • Prediction or recommendation

Example:

To summarize, a robotic teacher does not have the necessary disciple to properly give instructions to students and actually works to retard the ability of a student to comprehend new lessons. Therefore, it is clear that the idea of running a classroom completely by a machine cannot be supported. After thorough analysis on this subject, it is predicted that the adverse effects of the debate over technology-driven teaching will always be greater than the positive effects, and because of this, classroom teachers will never be substituted for technology.

Start your conclusion with a linking phrase. Here are some examples:

  • In conclusion
  • To conclude
  • To summarize
  • Finally
  • In a nutshell
  • In general

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Essentional vocabulary list for IELTS Writing 7+

Learn how to write high-scoring essays with powerful words.
Download Free PDF and start improving you writing skills today!
Topic Vocabulary:
  • prolonged use
  • eye strain
  • poor posture
  • repetitive strain injuries
  • sedentary lifestyle
  • social isolation
  • academic performance
  • inappropriate content
  • violent content
  • psychological effects
  • gaming addiction
  • stress
  • anxiety
  • depression
  • time management skills
  • parental supervision
  • educational games
  • physical activities
  • social interactions
  • screen time limits
What to do next:
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