Some employers offer their employees subsidised memberships to gyms and sports clubs, believing that this will make their staff healthier and more effective at work. Other employers see no benefit in doing so. Discuss both views, present your opinion.

#employers #offer #employees #memberships #gyms #sports #clubs #staff #work #benefit

Nowadays public debate has been going on over whether

employers

should offer their employees subsidised

memberships

to gyms and sports clubs. Some believe that

this

would make their staff healthier and more effective at work. Other

employers

disagree and see no financial benefit in doing so.

Firstly

employers

Change preposition

apply

show examples

giving out

memberships

as a perk of the job might increase their

employers

' motivation.

As a result

, workers will be more effective at work,

will

Correct word choice

and will

show examples

seek to reach objectives

quicker

Correct quantifier usage

more quicker

show examples

In addition

, subsidised

memberships

might help employees reach a balance between work and life, by creating meaningful free time

activity

Fix the agreement mistake

activities

show examples

. Well-balanced people are happier and have more energy to do their day-to-day job,

thus

showing better results at the workplace.

On the other hand

, some

employers

believe that companies should not give out subsidised gym

memberships

because it has no financial benefit for the company. By giving out

such

perks corporations tend to overspend, which might even lead to restructuring companies or filing bankruptcy. For

this

reason,

employers

choose not to give out expensive job benefits and in doing so reduce the risk of redundancy.

In addition

, it is believed that the inner person's motivation should be the thing that pushes someone to seek carrier progression. For

this

reason, companies that believe in the mental and physical capability of the workers refuse to give out

such

memberships

. In conclusion, some

employers

give out

memberships

to the gym, believing

this

will up their employees' motivation and health. While others, seek to protect the company by not giving out expensive bonuses. In

this

way keeping the company away from the dangers of overspending and redundancy.

Submitted by oimigle on Mon Nov 07 2022

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When giving examples it is best to put them after your main idea or topic sentence. They can be used in the middle of supporting sentences or they can be used to start a new sentence. There is no rule for where exactly to give examples in essays, logically they would come after your main idea/topic sentence or just after a supporting sentence.

Linking words for giving examples:

for example
for instance
to illustrate this
to give a clear example
such as
namely
to illustrate
take, for example

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7Linking words
meeting the goal of 7 or more
2Word repetition
meeting the goal of 3 or fewer
4Grammar mistakes
 

4 paragraphs

272 words

0123456789.0505

Overall Band Score

Coherence and Cohesion: 6.0

Logical structure

Introduction & conclusion present

Supported main points

Accurate linking words

Variety in linking words

Lexical resource: 6.0

Varied vocabulary

Accurate spelling & word formation

Grammatical Range: 6.0

Mix of complex & simple sentences

Clear and correct grammar

Task Achievement: 4.0

Complete response

7.5

Clear & comprehensive ideas

Relevant & specific examples

Appropriate word count

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Some employers offer their employees subsidised memberships to gyms and sports clubs, believing that this will make their staff healthier and more effective at work. Other employers see no benefit in doing so. Discuss both views, present your opinion.

Support ideas with relevant, specific examples

Essentional vocabulary list for IELTS Writing 7+

It is often said that the government spend too much money on the projects to protect wildlife, while there are other problem that are more important. To what extent do you agree or disagree

Nowadays, some people believe that governments should invest taxpayers’ money in healthcare, while others believe that money should be used in other areas.

Some people think that competation at work, at school and daily life is a good thing. Others believe that we should try to cooperate more, rather than competing against each other. Discuss both these views and give your own opinion.

It is better for college students to live in schools than live at home with their parents. Do you agree or disagree.

Some people think that the computer and the Internet are important in children's studies, but others think that students can learn more effectively in schools and with teachers. Discuss both views and give your own opinion.