Some employers offer their employees subsidised memberships to gyms and sports clubs, believing that this will make their staff healthier and more effective at work. Other employers see no benefit in doing so. Discuss both views, present your opinion.

Nowadays public debate has been going on over whether
employers
should offer their employees subsidised
memberships
to gyms and sports clubs. Some believe that
this
would make their staff healthier and more effective at work. Other
employers
disagree and see no financial benefit in doing so.
Firstly
,
employers
by
Change preposition
apply
show examples
giving out
memberships
as a perk of the job might increase their
employers
' motivation.
As a result
, workers will be more effective at work,
will
Correct word choice
and will
show examples
seek to reach objectives
quicker
Correct quantifier usage
more quicker
show examples
.
In addition
, subsidised
memberships
might help employees reach a balance between work and life, by creating meaningful free time
activity
Fix the agreement mistake
activities
show examples
. Well-balanced people are happier and have more energy to do their day-to-day job,
thus
showing better results at the workplace.
On the other hand
, some
employers
believe that companies should not give out subsidised gym
memberships
because it has no financial benefit for the company. By giving out
such
perks corporations tend to overspend, which might even lead to restructuring companies or filing bankruptcy. For
this
reason,
employers
choose not to give out expensive job benefits and in doing so reduce the risk of redundancy.
In addition
, it is believed that the inner person's motivation should be the thing that pushes someone to seek carrier progression. For
this
reason, companies that believe in the mental and physical capability of the workers refuse to give out
such
memberships
. In conclusion, some
employers
give out
memberships
to the gym, believing
this
will up their employees' motivation and health. While others, seek to protect the company by not giving out expensive bonuses. In
this
way keeping the company away from the dangers of overspending and redundancy.
Submitted by oimigle on

Unauthorized use and/or duplication of this material without express and written permission from this site’s author and/or owner is strictly prohibited. Excerpts and links may be used, provided that full and clear credit is given to Writing9 with appropriate and specific direction to the original content.

Support ideas with relevant, specific examples

Examples make your writing easier to understand by illustrating points more effectively.

Examples, if used properly, not only help you get higher marks for ‘Task Response’ but also for ‘Coherence’.

When giving examples it is best to put them after your main idea or topic sentence. They can be used in the middle of supporting sentences or they can be used to start a new sentence. There is no rule for where exactly to give examples in essays, logically they would come after your main idea/topic sentence or just after a supporting sentence.

Linking words for giving examples:

  • for example
  • for instance
  • to illustrate this
  • to give a clear example
  • such as
  • namely
  • to illustrate
  • take, for example

Discover more tips in The Ultimate Guide to Get a Target Band Score of 7+ »— a book that's free for 🚀 Premium users.

Essentional vocabulary list for IELTS Writing 7+

Learn how to write high-scoring essays with powerful words.
Download Free PDF and start improving you writing skills today!
What to do next:
Look at other essays: