Nowadays more and more older people who need employment have to compete with younger people for same jobs. What problems does this cause? What are the solutions?

Nowadays, among young ,
people
pensioners are
also
working.
This
causes a number of
problems
and we have found a solution to these
problems
in
this
essay. It is true that
,
Remove the comma
apply
show examples
at
Change preposition
apply
show examples
this
Correct determiner usage
these
show examples
days
Change to a genitive case
day's
show examples
old
people
are working more than young
people
so several
competition
Fix the agreement mistake
competitions
show examples
and
disagreement
Fix the agreement mistake
disagreements
show examples
happen who young workers and old workers because the
work
of the elderly is better than that of the young because they have
work
experience.
This
still remains a
problems
Correct the article-noun agreement
problem
show examples
because we are living which
developing
Correct article usage
a developing
show examples
country
Fix the agreement mistake
countries
show examples
. Every year, we have a lot of university students who try to get a job after graduation which leads to a decrease in working places. For
this
Correct your spelling
cause
course
couse
Correct your spelling
course
elderly
people
whose living
condition
Fix the agreement mistake
conditions
show examples
are difficult, they are forced to
work
even during
the
Change the word
their
show examples
pension. Many
people
think that it is
greedniness
Correct your spelling
greediness
.
However
Add a comma
,However
show examples
they
work
with young
people
although
their age because it is
great
Add an article
a great
show examples
skill
for
Add the comma(s)
,for
show examples
example, our mathematics teacher. He is 59 years old
however
he has worked until now. Research has found that why old person to do
work
because
Add a missing verb
is because
show examples
their
Correct pronoun usage
they
show examples
have not
give
Change the verb form
given
show examples
enough money when they have done
work
.
On the other
hand
Add a comma
,hand
show examples
after they
work
, they are not given enough benefits to meet their personal needs. If we can give them enough
benefit
Fix the agreement mistake
benefits
show examples
, many
problems
will be solved. Not only allowance
,
Remove the comma
apply
show examples
but
also
few children have to satisfy the needs of their parents.
This
is
unraveling
Change the spelling
unravelling
show examples
which is the problem we discussed. All things
Correct your spelling
considered
sonsidered
Correct your spelling
considered
it is clear that these
problems
will not arise if the elderly have enough
Correct your spelling
funds
show examples
founds
Correct your spelling
funds
show examples
for their personal needs.
Submitted by makemoneyizzy16 on

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Include an introduction and conclusion

A conclusion is essential for IELTS writing task 2. It is more important than most people realise. You will be penalised for missing a conclusion in your IELTS essay.

The easiest paragraph to write in an essay is the conclusion paragraph. This is because the paragraph mostly contains information that has already been presented in the essay – it is just the repetition of some information written in the introduction paragraph and supporting paragraphs.

The conclusion paragraph only has 3 sentences:

  • Summary
  • Restatement of thesis
  • Prediction or recommendation

Example:

To summarize, a robotic teacher does not have the necessary disciple to properly give instructions to students and actually works to retard the ability of a student to comprehend new lessons. Therefore, it is clear that the idea of running a classroom completely by a machine cannot be supported. After thorough analysis on this subject, it is predicted that the adverse effects of the debate over technology-driven teaching will always be greater than the positive effects, and because of this, classroom teachers will never be substituted for technology.

Start your conclusion with a linking phrase. Here are some examples:

  • In conclusion
  • To conclude
  • To summarize
  • Finally
  • In a nutshell
  • In general

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Essentional vocabulary list for IELTS Writing 7+

Learn how to write high-scoring essays with powerful words.
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Topic Vocabulary:
  • Intergenerational competition
  • Age discrimination
  • Adaptability
  • Hiring practices
  • Workforce diversity
  • Upskilling
  • Lifelong learning
  • Flexible working arrangements
  • Ageism
  • Technological proficiency
  • Productivity concerns
  • Diverse skillsets
  • Legislative protection
  • Employment equity
  • Biases
What to do next:
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